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Family of Origin
When you no longer care...good or unhealthy?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 667510" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Copa, thank you. I sort of bowed out of the other thread because I am not a scholar of the Bible and don't really understand it so I missed this.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for answering anyway.</p><p></p><p>I think you're right. In my value system, each living thing has value, including those who I am related to through DNA who don't connect with me or vice versa. So that is true. How much I care about them...I have still enough hurt at the tail end of the anger phase to think I don't care about them at all anymore. After all, they don't care about me, right? I'll see if that changes. Of course I want everyone to heal, but I can't be involved, especially if they don't think they are a problem to themselves. First you have to admit you need to change things about yourself in order to be happy and just shunning relatives that you have grudges against still doesn't let you cut yourself off from yourself...so you still suffer until you understand.</p><p></p><p>Copa, you are right that it has become unimportant. This is huge because what my mother and sister both thought of me used to be monstrously important to me, even though they never did think well of me. Maybe because my brother is a male, I cared less. Maybe because he was physically ill and I felt and still feel badly about that, I cut him a break. I still do. I don't get angry thinking about him. I hit "apathy" with him first.</p><p></p><p>Because of our work here, almost completely (thank you both so much) I have been able to work through what has gone down with me and my family and that the problem is not just me. It is ALL of us not working together, but I became the famous scapegoat that I had not heard of before.Now everything makes sense when I am called a silly, unfounded name, and I also expect it. Daphne surprised me, but only a mild surprise. I could tell you and Cedar would shocked.</p><p></p><p>I can't care. I can't. I'm just used to it and, once it is all "talked" out, I see that it makes no sense for me to care.</p><p></p><p>I have to walk the dog now <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Hubby is calling. Talk to you later and thank you both for all you did for me. Both of you are the best!! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 667510, member: 1550"] Copa, thank you. I sort of bowed out of the other thread because I am not a scholar of the Bible and don't really understand it so I missed this. Thanks for answering anyway. I think you're right. In my value system, each living thing has value, including those who I am related to through DNA who don't connect with me or vice versa. So that is true. How much I care about them...I have still enough hurt at the tail end of the anger phase to think I don't care about them at all anymore. After all, they don't care about me, right? I'll see if that changes. Of course I want everyone to heal, but I can't be involved, especially if they don't think they are a problem to themselves. First you have to admit you need to change things about yourself in order to be happy and just shunning relatives that you have grudges against still doesn't let you cut yourself off from yourself...so you still suffer until you understand. Copa, you are right that it has become unimportant. This is huge because what my mother and sister both thought of me used to be monstrously important to me, even though they never did think well of me. Maybe because my brother is a male, I cared less. Maybe because he was physically ill and I felt and still feel badly about that, I cut him a break. I still do. I don't get angry thinking about him. I hit "apathy" with him first. Because of our work here, almost completely (thank you both so much) I have been able to work through what has gone down with me and my family and that the problem is not just me. It is ALL of us not working together, but I became the famous scapegoat that I had not heard of before.Now everything makes sense when I am called a silly, unfounded name, and I also expect it. Daphne surprised me, but only a mild surprise. I could tell you and Cedar would shocked. I can't care. I can't. I'm just used to it and, once it is all "talked" out, I see that it makes no sense for me to care. I have to walk the dog now :) Hubby is calling. Talk to you later and thank you both for all you did for me. Both of you are the best!! ;) [/QUOTE]
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When you no longer care...good or unhealthy?
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