PG,
You did nothing to cause her meltdown. It was preordained even before she got in your car. I've been there with my difficult child. She sounds like my difficult child - a master manipulator who could make you feel responsbile for the tsunami in Japan if she set her mind to it.
Forgive me for asking (I'm still pretty new here), but is your husband her dad? Not that her behavior would be cnsidered acceptable if is isn't but - especially if he is, I hope you don't mind my making a suggestion: If you want tod o the sneakers and the gift card, fine ... but don't do it behind his back. You can agree to disagree, but if she knows you're going behind his back, that gives her ammunition for a later date. Also, it's tough on your relationship.
If this were my difficult child (and it very well could be!), I'd invite her for coffee or out for a walk and explain that you're taking a break from hiring her for yard work. Tell her you'll leave the door open (if you wish) and she can come to you and ask to try again.
You wouldn't accept anything close to her behavior from anyone else you hired. She needs to know that she cannot behave that way in any workplace ... even at the homestead of mom and dad.
So sorry for your stress. I've been down the crazy highway with mine more times than I care to count.
Dash
