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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 446542"><p>PG - It is such a balancing act between loving them, showing you love them, and holding them accountable and not enabling them. I get that need to give to her, I feel that too. I think it is a way you can keep showing you love her..... except that right now she is not reading it that way. She is entitled and acts like you owe it to her. As long as you offer and give her too much she will remain entitled and not appreciate what you do give. Also I think she needs to feel responsible for herself and not just assume you will do it all for her.I get how hard it is because I am often in the same place on that same tightrope. I think my son is more appreciative now becuase we have said no to things, and he has had to be on his own and not get anything from us. I think he is getting that now we will only give him so much and we will not give him anything with any conditions. To me that has been freeing to realize that I no longer will set any conditions..... if he is not sober that is his problem, not mine.I am also guessing by her behavior that she is probably using again... that whole irritability thing sounds like it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 446542"] PG - It is such a balancing act between loving them, showing you love them, and holding them accountable and not enabling them. I get that need to give to her, I feel that too. I think it is a way you can keep showing you love her..... except that right now she is not reading it that way. She is entitled and acts like you owe it to her. As long as you offer and give her too much she will remain entitled and not appreciate what you do give. Also I think she needs to feel responsible for herself and not just assume you will do it all for her.I get how hard it is because I am often in the same place on that same tightrope. I think my son is more appreciative now becuase we have said no to things, and he has had to be on his own and not get anything from us. I think he is getting that now we will only give him so much and we will not give him anything with any conditions. To me that has been freeing to realize that I no longer will set any conditions..... if he is not sober that is his problem, not mine.I am also guessing by her behavior that she is probably using again... that whole irritability thing sounds like it. [/QUOTE]
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