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Where do I begin??? Please help....
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 628988" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I'm sorry you are going through this with your daughter and your granddaughter. Beyondstressed welcome.</p><p></p><p>You're in a terrible position. I've been in the position you're in and I now have guardianship for my granddaughter who just graduated from HS and is leaving for college in August. It's been a long journey.</p><p></p><p>I agree with the other members, accepting what is is the most important step any of us have to take. And, it's the most difficult. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post, it is informative and helpful.</p><p></p><p>Whatever you decide to do, along the way, it is imperative that you receive support. If you suspect your daughter has mental or emotional issues NAMI may be of help to you. They are the National Alliance on Mental Illness, can be accessed online, have chapters mostly everywhere and have excellent courses for us parents to learn tools to cope with our adult kids and their shenanigans. You need support. You might also try Al Anon, or Narc anon, CoDa, or Families Anonymous, private therapy, a parent group, someplace you can vent, get empathy and understanding and learn the tools of detachment so you can begin to learn acceptance. Otherwise you will rattle around in a maze your daughter created, worried, resentful, angry, sad and devastated. </p><p></p><p>We have to learn how to respond to them differently. We have to learn how to take care of ourselves and focus on our needs. When we accomplish that, we are in a much better position to make the hard choices necessary.</p><p></p><p>This is a cruel landscape for us to be on, we are forced to make choices that would otherwise be foreign and reprehensible to us. We need to have safe places to just let go and get support so we can soldier through it all and find some kind of resolution and acceptance.</p><p></p><p>Continue to post here, it helps. I'm glad you found us. Stay the course. I wish you peace of mind.........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 628988, member: 13542"] I'm sorry you are going through this with your daughter and your granddaughter. Beyondstressed welcome. You're in a terrible position. I've been in the position you're in and I now have guardianship for my granddaughter who just graduated from HS and is leaving for college in August. It's been a long journey. I agree with the other members, accepting what is is the most important step any of us have to take. And, it's the most difficult. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post, it is informative and helpful. Whatever you decide to do, along the way, it is imperative that you receive support. If you suspect your daughter has mental or emotional issues NAMI may be of help to you. They are the National Alliance on Mental Illness, can be accessed online, have chapters mostly everywhere and have excellent courses for us parents to learn tools to cope with our adult kids and their shenanigans. You need support. You might also try Al Anon, or Narc anon, CoDa, or Families Anonymous, private therapy, a parent group, someplace you can vent, get empathy and understanding and learn the tools of detachment so you can begin to learn acceptance. Otherwise you will rattle around in a maze your daughter created, worried, resentful, angry, sad and devastated. We have to learn how to respond to them differently. We have to learn how to take care of ourselves and focus on our needs. When we accomplish that, we are in a much better position to make the hard choices necessary. This is a cruel landscape for us to be on, we are forced to make choices that would otherwise be foreign and reprehensible to us. We need to have safe places to just let go and get support so we can soldier through it all and find some kind of resolution and acceptance. Continue to post here, it helps. I'm glad you found us. Stay the course. I wish you peace of mind......... [/QUOTE]
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