Hi everyone. I'm a newbie and I've been reading all the posts here. I'm desperate for answers. My 30 yr old difficult child Borderline (BPD) daughter has been living with-us since she gave birth to my beautiful gd. She was a pretty good mom for the first 2 years, but she had a tremendous amount of help from her then boyfriend, myself and my sister. Since then things have Ben going downhill in a big way. She's been having constant panic attacks (probably from abusing amphetamines). She has stolen checks and cash from both myself and my husband, as well as taking and using my credit card with-o permission. She has stolen jewelry from me in the past as well. She has been unable to care for her daughter in a healthy way for months now. Now for a little background. Our difficult child began acting out when she was 14. It was like metamorphosis had set in and she was no longer the sweet little girl I knew. She began leaving the house in the middle of the night; leaving school as soon as we dropped her off; drinking and being promiscuous. We tried to get help for her through individual and group counseling. The counselors though were totally ineffective, and made us feel we were responsible for her behavior. She would yell and curse us out during these sessions, and the therapist wouldn't intervene. She began hanging out with kids that we're much older than her, and we just didn't know how to control her. We finally sent her to a private behavioral high school for 18 months. She got her diploma and a good education, but she never forgave us for sending her there Years later she became addicted to prescription pain killers. She stole from her employer and she was fired. She became pregnant with her then boyfriend while addicted to painkillers. She was able to wean herself off them during her first few months in therapy and went to out-patient rehab. She stayed clean for about 2 years, and then things began to go downhill again. We recently kicked her out for stealing from me. 5 days later she came back with her tail between her legs, so we let her come back with the stipulation that she never do it again. So what does she do? To show her graditude for being able come back home, she proceeds to steal from us again. She is also a pathological lier, and we literally can't believe a word she says. Our dilemma is what should we do about our dear gd, whom my ds, husband and I have been taking care of. She's become more attached to us than her mom, although she really misses her. We're afraid to let her dad know, because we fear he'll try to get custody. He only sees his daughter every other weekend and lives 2 hours from us. We also question why she screams and cries when he comes to pick her up. You would think she would be happy to see her dad. She's already exhibiting some attachment issues; and if he was to take her away, it would be a huge trauma for her. We are truly at wits end. We honestly not sure what to do...any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.