I suggest this gently.
Perhaps you are too involved with your adult kids and they need space. Maybe you ARE too needy. Their lives belong to them. Their choices are not yours to like or dislike anymore. That sort of interaction with adult children is not usually welcome.
It does seem you may benefit from controlling the only person on earth you can control...your self. I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but from your own description of your behavior, I think it would be good if you sought out a psychiatrist. You will never be happy if you rely on others to meet your needs. Your daughter is an adult now and has a significant other and he will come first with her. That's how it works.
in my opinion it's not a good idea to move in with your son either with him supporting you.
To me it sounds like you are the struggling one.
I hope you do get help so that you can get more controlled and learn ways to build your own life apart from the adult kids. You get too involved in their choices and problems, and you can't control them. You can only control one person on earth...you. nobody else's life is within your control.
I wish you all the best. Welcome to the forum and do keep posting.
