Hi and welcome, Madre!
The best thing that you can do right now to repair your relationship with your kids is to focus on yourself, Madre.
First, your housing situation. I think you need to apply for housing assistance in the area you live now. If you are in danger of being evicted, foreclosed on, or can't pay the rent, you should be able to get emergency assistance. You can probably get to the top of the "list" for temporary housing and low-income housing, rent assistance, temporary accommodations, etc. Also apply for food stamps, cash assistance, employment assistance, utility assistance, and find out where the food bank is located. Don't give up on finding a way to live independently from your kids. This will relieve their stress in a major way. The rules on benefits have changed in recent years, so even if you didn't qualify previously, try again.
Second, focus on your mental health. Make sure that you have a good psychiatrist that knows your situation and that you are also in therapy so that you can work on ways to interact with your adult kids in a healthy way.
Third, let go of the things you can't control. This includes your adult children's lives and relationships, and even their mental health. Focus on what you can control, which is getting your life back in order.
When your kids see that you are working on YOU, they will be more likely to let you into their lives, knowing that the relationship will be healthier. They love you, but they need boundaries, just like we all do.
Good luck and please stay with us.
Your kids will appreciate you taking these steps.
Apple
