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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 689555" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Madre...one other thing I learned mostly from observation and listening is that even adult kids like Mom to be the strong one. Considering that they pull the "I am an adult" card, this is a bit dialectical, but it's true.women in their 20s and even 30s are not usually able to see Mom as somebody they need to help. First off, I do think you need to find your own housing...yes, apply for assistance or, if old enough, an over 55 rent subsidized apartment.</p><p></p><p>Madre, I recently had a serious car accident and should have died and my kids were very upset. But as soon as I even half recovered, I kept telling them how well I was doing, even though I was traumatized. I did not think it would be good for my adult kids to have to take on worrying about me. I have a mood disorder and don't talk about it to them either. I tell my husband and my.therapist.</p><p></p><p>Our adult kids do not want to listen to our problems. I remember my daughter talking about her boyfriends mother after they had broken up. "I don't miss his family his mother was always crying to me about her problems and it was so uncomfortable. I didn't know what to say or do. I just wanted to be somewhere else."</p><p>I think our adult kids are more sympathetic toward us if we don't ask for them to be. They really do want us to be strong just in case they need us when they hurt.</p><p>Of course, this is.my own experience with my kids. Was just sharing.</p><p></p><p>Good luck. Hope you find a therapist...it is better than telling your problems to your kids and they DO often know how to help. Your kids do not. And I don't think younger adult kids want this responsibility as a rule.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 689555, member: 1550"] Madre...one other thing I learned mostly from observation and listening is that even adult kids like Mom to be the strong one. Considering that they pull the "I am an adult" card, this is a bit dialectical, but it's true.women in their 20s and even 30s are not usually able to see Mom as somebody they need to help. First off, I do think you need to find your own housing...yes, apply for assistance or, if old enough, an over 55 rent subsidized apartment. Madre, I recently had a serious car accident and should have died and my kids were very upset. But as soon as I even half recovered, I kept telling them how well I was doing, even though I was traumatized. I did not think it would be good for my adult kids to have to take on worrying about me. I have a mood disorder and don't talk about it to them either. I tell my husband and my.therapist. Our adult kids do not want to listen to our problems. I remember my daughter talking about her boyfriends mother after they had broken up. "I don't miss his family his mother was always crying to me about her problems and it was so uncomfortable. I didn't know what to say or do. I just wanted to be somewhere else." I think our adult kids are more sympathetic toward us if we don't ask for them to be. They really do want us to be strong just in case they need us when they hurt. Of course, this is.my own experience with my kids. Was just sharing. Good luck. Hope you find a therapist...it is better than telling your problems to your kids and they DO often know how to help. Your kids do not. And I don't think younger adult kids want this responsibility as a rule. [/QUOTE]
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