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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 465193" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>just tired - </p><p></p><p>Glad you got a chuckle. My kid has been making me laugh for years. THen I took a look at my behavior as a result of my actions because of my child and OMG - I'm still laughing at what I had allowed myself to become. Really - it's ridiculous the things I sit back now and see that I did, and literally try to help steer others away from. It's like watching a bad movie or a Tom and Jerry cartoon. Once you realize what they manipulate out of you? All you see is Jerry the mouse -----and poor old Tom (whack.....and then..........WHACK.......and then....WHACK.....and after a while?) You start thinking? Man that cat----what a noodle for a brain. It surpasses manipulation by the child because at what point do you look at the parent or yourself and realize - I KNOW what I'm being taunted into or goaded into or maniuplated into - and just realize of yourself - I really am being controlled by my manipulative child and I am not helping them but enabling them to a life of misery? THAT is when you seriously have to have a talk with yourself, and at THAT point? When you REALIZE that? When you have friends or support that is SCREAMING at you - YOU ARE NOT HELPING THEM-------and CONTINUE to do what you've always done and get the same result or worse? That you cross the border into insanity and DO become ...(dot,dot,dot) a BAD parent. Because NOW? Now you know -NOW you have knowledge....NOW you are conscious of the things that CAN and DO harm yourself, and them and YOU ARE aware that - HEY ----this had gone on TOO long- -it's damaging, it's crossed a line - it's unhealthy---it's beyond little Timmy has ADHD or dyslexia and I didn't know what to do - LIttle TImmy has progressed right up to stealing, and check washing, and theft and threatening suicide to GET HIS WAY - not -----I need a guidance counselor to help with the fact that my girlfriend broke up with me because I have too many zits, and I"m unpopular because I like frogs and not cars in High School. ----</p><p></p><p>The fact that you want him (YOU ) being the operative word her (think about it) is the key (AGAIN) in the GED scenario. HE IS 24. There are night classes, day classes, on line classes and honey - IF HE wanted his diploma? HE WOULD PURSUE it. It's another (sorry to say) excuse to keep him at home, safe for you, safe with YOUR EYES on him....so you know he's NOT in any trouble.....safe so you know he is OKAY.......You need to find out WHY this is a problem for YOU. It's obvioulsy holding HIM back. I buried two sons......BEFORE I told the youngest to GET OUT - without a GED, without anything. MONEY.....JOB....CAR, LICENSE......Because he stole, lied, had a felony......I couldn't sleep at night......I mean ------I had all my hopes left......ON ONE KID and still. ? He had to go. HE STOLE, HE WAS MAKING LIFE MISERABLE - I can't sleep with my door locked forever. THE SUICIDES attempts were crazy? OMG....are you serious? HOW MUCH COULD I TAKE ? I had a stroke - and honest to gosh STROKE? At 43........years.old. </p><p></p><p>Before you worry and push him for a GED? GO to a therapist. IT HELPED ME so much. I went twice a week for like 15 years....I had lots of other issues - but this was one of the biggest......my son.....my sweet baby. The other side of my sweet son that I desperately tried to hang onto. And here we are. Him not here, him no education-----and me - telling you about it.....and praying for him. But telling him all the time - if he wants it at 21 - HE........HE can get it. It's AGAIN.......HIS CHOICE. HIS REGRET......not ours. </p><p></p><p>Hugs -</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 465193, member: 4964"] just tired - Glad you got a chuckle. My kid has been making me laugh for years. THen I took a look at my behavior as a result of my actions because of my child and OMG - I'm still laughing at what I had allowed myself to become. Really - it's ridiculous the things I sit back now and see that I did, and literally try to help steer others away from. It's like watching a bad movie or a Tom and Jerry cartoon. Once you realize what they manipulate out of you? All you see is Jerry the mouse -----and poor old Tom (whack.....and then..........WHACK.......and then....WHACK.....and after a while?) You start thinking? Man that cat----what a noodle for a brain. It surpasses manipulation by the child because at what point do you look at the parent or yourself and realize - I KNOW what I'm being taunted into or goaded into or maniuplated into - and just realize of yourself - I really am being controlled by my manipulative child and I am not helping them but enabling them to a life of misery? THAT is when you seriously have to have a talk with yourself, and at THAT point? When you REALIZE that? When you have friends or support that is SCREAMING at you - YOU ARE NOT HELPING THEM-------and CONTINUE to do what you've always done and get the same result or worse? That you cross the border into insanity and DO become ...(dot,dot,dot) a BAD parent. Because NOW? Now you know -NOW you have knowledge....NOW you are conscious of the things that CAN and DO harm yourself, and them and YOU ARE aware that - HEY ----this had gone on TOO long- -it's damaging, it's crossed a line - it's unhealthy---it's beyond little Timmy has ADHD or dyslexia and I didn't know what to do - LIttle TImmy has progressed right up to stealing, and check washing, and theft and threatening suicide to GET HIS WAY - not -----I need a guidance counselor to help with the fact that my girlfriend broke up with me because I have too many zits, and I"m unpopular because I like frogs and not cars in High School. ---- The fact that you want him (YOU ) being the operative word her (think about it) is the key (AGAIN) in the GED scenario. HE IS 24. There are night classes, day classes, on line classes and honey - IF HE wanted his diploma? HE WOULD PURSUE it. It's another (sorry to say) excuse to keep him at home, safe for you, safe with YOUR EYES on him....so you know he's NOT in any trouble.....safe so you know he is OKAY.......You need to find out WHY this is a problem for YOU. It's obvioulsy holding HIM back. I buried two sons......BEFORE I told the youngest to GET OUT - without a GED, without anything. MONEY.....JOB....CAR, LICENSE......Because he stole, lied, had a felony......I couldn't sleep at night......I mean ------I had all my hopes left......ON ONE KID and still. ? He had to go. HE STOLE, HE WAS MAKING LIFE MISERABLE - I can't sleep with my door locked forever. THE SUICIDES attempts were crazy? OMG....are you serious? HOW MUCH COULD I TAKE ? I had a stroke - and honest to gosh STROKE? At 43........years.old. Before you worry and push him for a GED? GO to a therapist. IT HELPED ME so much. I went twice a week for like 15 years....I had lots of other issues - but this was one of the biggest......my son.....my sweet baby. The other side of my sweet son that I desperately tried to hang onto. And here we are. Him not here, him no education-----and me - telling you about it.....and praying for him. But telling him all the time - if he wants it at 21 - HE........HE can get it. It's AGAIN.......HIS CHOICE. HIS REGRET......not ours. Hugs - [/QUOTE]
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