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Where is the love? Can't even find that right now!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Jody" data-source="post: 356976" data-attributes="member: 8787"><p>I absolutely hate that there are so many of us out here, that have to go through this everyday. Last night was awful. I came home and she hadn't done anything that I asked. I told her she couldn't go back out, raging fit. I had bought her shoes reluctantly the other day when I said I wasn't going to. She did have a couple of blisters on her feet from them so she needed new ones. Anyway I told her I know that she has flip flops and other shoes that she can wear but I would get her tennis shoes, but if she acted nuts with me I would take them away. I meant it. This morning she went to school in flip flops. Don't care if she fails gym, don't care. She kicked an empty cardboard box around my house to tease and taunt me for over an hour. She wanted me to lose my temper so then she could say you did this and you did that. Turn her whole story around (lies) so she can be the victim. She threatened and laughed in my face and smiled and omg, I thought last night was really the night I was going to go to jail. I won't let her in tonight. I can't I have to do something. I am going to lose it on that kid. I am human, and this is more than most can take. I am just not strong enough to take it anymore. I have no desire to. Nothing, for what, so our relationship can continue, so she can be mean and hit me, bite me, yell at me, laugh at me. I can't stand her. This morning, I have spent the entire morning in the bathroom, with upset stomach and all that comes with that. I am just not able to do it. I don't have time to get her in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I can't hold on any longer, she has to go. I cannot believe the meaness in this kid. I used to be able to see some good, now I can't even look at her. She is destroying my mental health, physical health is going with it. My family life, everything. I just am not doing this anymore. i am sorry to even say these things out loud. I have to get it out. I can't stand her. May 29th was the worst day of my life, it wasn't a blessing, it feels like a punishment. Until you have had someone in your face calling you names and hitting you and lying oh the lies, the craziness of it all, I don't think anyone truly understands what it does to you mentally, the toll it takes on your mind and what that does to you physically. I wanted to help her to find some happiness, she doesn't seem to want it, if it's handed to her on a platter. I want it. I want it. I want it. I sit here and say this and think about saving as much money as I can and running far away and never returning. It really doesn't seem like a fantasy more like an option. I'de like to be in the woods with my dog, hearing the birds and somewhere near some water. One day and hopefully soon. I am sorry to be doom and gloom, but today is just one more day ruined by the 11 year old that lives in my house.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jody, post: 356976, member: 8787"] I absolutely hate that there are so many of us out here, that have to go through this everyday. Last night was awful. I came home and she hadn't done anything that I asked. I told her she couldn't go back out, raging fit. I had bought her shoes reluctantly the other day when I said I wasn't going to. She did have a couple of blisters on her feet from them so she needed new ones. Anyway I told her I know that she has flip flops and other shoes that she can wear but I would get her tennis shoes, but if she acted nuts with me I would take them away. I meant it. This morning she went to school in flip flops. Don't care if she fails gym, don't care. She kicked an empty cardboard box around my house to tease and taunt me for over an hour. She wanted me to lose my temper so then she could say you did this and you did that. Turn her whole story around (lies) so she can be the victim. She threatened and laughed in my face and smiled and omg, I thought last night was really the night I was going to go to jail. I won't let her in tonight. I can't I have to do something. I am going to lose it on that kid. I am human, and this is more than most can take. I am just not strong enough to take it anymore. I have no desire to. Nothing, for what, so our relationship can continue, so she can be mean and hit me, bite me, yell at me, laugh at me. I can't stand her. This morning, I have spent the entire morning in the bathroom, with upset stomach and all that comes with that. I am just not able to do it. I don't have time to get her in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I can't hold on any longer, she has to go. I cannot believe the meaness in this kid. I used to be able to see some good, now I can't even look at her. She is destroying my mental health, physical health is going with it. My family life, everything. I just am not doing this anymore. i am sorry to even say these things out loud. I have to get it out. I can't stand her. May 29th was the worst day of my life, it wasn't a blessing, it feels like a punishment. Until you have had someone in your face calling you names and hitting you and lying oh the lies, the craziness of it all, I don't think anyone truly understands what it does to you mentally, the toll it takes on your mind and what that does to you physically. I wanted to help her to find some happiness, she doesn't seem to want it, if it's handed to her on a platter. I want it. I want it. I want it. I sit here and say this and think about saving as much money as I can and running far away and never returning. It really doesn't seem like a fantasy more like an option. I'de like to be in the woods with my dog, hearing the birds and somewhere near some water. One day and hopefully soon. I am sorry to be doom and gloom, but today is just one more day ruined by the 11 year old that lives in my house. [/QUOTE]
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