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Parent Emeritus
Why Can't They Take Responsibility For Their Actions???????
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 152781" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Chrisdog, I feel your pain.</p><p></p><p>This has come up on a few threads recently. After years and years of beating my head, trying to get through to my difficult child so that he would see the effects of his actions and feel remorse for them, I have come to believe that he just doesn't have it in him.</p><p></p><p>So...because remorse doesn't work, I tried to figure out what did.</p><p></p><p>I finally narrowed it down to Pleasure vs. Pain. Those are the only 2 things that motivate difficult child, and I have given myself 2 rules in all dealings with difficult child.</p><p></p><p>Either following the rules must provide more pleasure than breaking them OR the pain resulting from breaking the rule must be significantly greater than the pleasure to be gained from breaking them.</p><p></p><p>I think it takes our difficult children a long long time to learn life lessons, and they seem to almost always need to learn them the hard way.</p><p></p><p>Sigh.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 152781, member: 3907"] Chrisdog, I feel your pain. This has come up on a few threads recently. After years and years of beating my head, trying to get through to my difficult child so that he would see the effects of his actions and feel remorse for them, I have come to believe that he just doesn't have it in him. So...because remorse doesn't work, I tried to figure out what did. I finally narrowed it down to Pleasure vs. Pain. Those are the only 2 things that motivate difficult child, and I have given myself 2 rules in all dealings with difficult child. Either following the rules must provide more pleasure than breaking them OR the pain resulting from breaking the rule must be significantly greater than the pleasure to be gained from breaking them. I think it takes our difficult children a long long time to learn life lessons, and they seem to almost always need to learn them the hard way. Sigh. [/QUOTE]
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Why Can't They Take Responsibility For Their Actions???????
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