You have a male. Males don't like to talk, they like to act. Sadly, tis the nature of most of the beasts. You have a teen. Teens would rather talk to anyone than their parents about the important stuff like feelings. Another one of those nature of the beasts things. You have a male teen who is hurting because his father rejected him. No matter how kindly you phrase it, the odds are he will see it as you bad mouthing his father, your ex. Something he thinks he's heard before time after time if he's a typical teen in that sense. So, you have two nature of the beast issues and one "I don't want to hear what you have to say" issues.
As my daughter once told me, "Don't take it personally, Mom. It's just that you're my mom and I want to find the answers some other way." Sucks, but that's the way it is.