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I have two answers.

The first is this: Cognitive Dissonance. It is when we hold two contradictory ideas which we cannot reconcile. Or if we hold a very strong idea but we feel something opposite. Or do something opposite. The idea behind this theory is that human beings want to live in a way that is consistent with their values and they want their thinking to fit together, to not be contradictory.

We love our children. We hate what they are doing.

We love our sons. We hate being with them.

We love our sons. We yell at them and are constantly angry.

All of this brings up dissonance. And it is circular. The more we feel unresolved dissonance the more we will feel terrible and have dissonance. The key is to confront head on the inconsistencies and have empathy for ourselves and let the conflict be conscious. I am in the same place as you.

And I am a lot like you, I think.

I doubt myself a lot. Which leads me to my second reason I think you may second guess yourself, if you are like me.

I do not listen very good to how I feel. I do not feel emotions. That is not exactly right. I feel strong emotions, but I do not know what each one is. Or I ignore emotions until they are huge and strong and overwhelming and I get sick. Or have a panic attack.

If somebody does not listen to themselves, does not honor what they feel they have no real information on which to base their behavior and their decisions. They do not know what they want. They are always searching outside of themselves for information, instead of relying on guidance from their own heart, their own gut.

Sometimes our lives have been so hard that we suppress information that we hold in our bodies because we feel unequipped to bear it. But there are therapies now that can help with this.

I just thought of another reason why we feel bad, guilty and don't know what to do, and rethink decisions. This is because our situations are HORRIBLE. And nobody could know what to do. And if by chance they did, they would second guess themselves because there would be no way to know that their choice is right and will yield the desired result. The stakes are so high. We have so little control. Our lives our turned upside down. That is why we feel like .

<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 740859" data-attributes="member: 18958">I have two answers.The first is this: Cognitive Dissonance.&nbsp; It is when we hold two contradictory ideas which we cannot reconcile. Or if we hold a very strong idea but we feel something opposite. Or do something opposite.&nbsp; The idea behind this theory is that human beings want to live in a way that is consistent with their values and they want their thinking to fit together, to not be contradictory.We love our children. We hate what they are doing.We love our sons. We hate being with them.We love our sons. We yell at them and are constantly angry.All of this brings up dissonance.&nbsp; And it is circular. The more we feel unresolved dissonance the more we will feel terrible and have dissonance. The key is to confront head on the inconsistencies and have empathy for ourselves and let the conflict be conscious.&nbsp; I am in the same place as you.&nbsp; And I am a lot like you, I think.I doubt myself a lot. Which leads me to my second reason I think you may second guess yourself, if you are like me. I do not listen very good to how I feel. I do not feel emotions. That is not exactly right. I feel strong emotions, but I do not know what each one is. Or I ignore emotions until they are huge and strong and overwhelming and I get sick. Or have a panic attack.&nbsp; If somebody does not listen to themselves, does not honor what they feel they have no real information on which to base their behavior and their decisions. They do not know what they want. They are always searching outside of themselves for information, instead of relying on guidance from their own heart, their own gut.&nbsp; Sometimes our lives have been so hard that we suppress information that we hold in our bodies because we feel unequipped to bear it.&nbsp; But there are therapies now that can help with this. I just thought of another reason why we feel bad, guilty and don't know what to do, and rethink decisions. This is because our situations are HORRIBLE. And nobody could know what to do. And if by chance they did, they would second guess themselves because there would be no way to know that their choice is right and will yield the desired result. The stakes are so high. We have so little control. Our lives our turned upside down. That is why we feel like <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif"&nbsp; class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2&nbsp; &nbsp; :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 740859, member: 18958"] I have two answers. The first is this: Cognitive Dissonance. It is when we hold two contradictory ideas which we cannot reconcile. Or if we hold a very strong idea but we feel something opposite. Or do something opposite. The idea behind this theory is that human beings want to live in a way that is consistent with their values and they want their thinking to fit together, to not be contradictory. We love our children. We hate what they are doing. We love our sons. We hate being with them. We love our sons. We yell at them and are constantly angry. All of this brings up dissonance. And it is circular. The more we feel unresolved dissonance the more we will feel terrible and have dissonance. The key is to confront head on the inconsistencies and have empathy for ourselves and let the conflict be conscious. I am in the same place as you. And I am a lot like you, I think. I doubt myself a lot. Which leads me to my second reason I think you may second guess yourself, if you are like me. I do not listen very good to how I feel. I do not feel emotions. That is not exactly right. I feel strong emotions, but I do not know what each one is. Or I ignore emotions until they are huge and strong and overwhelming and I get sick. Or have a panic attack. If somebody does not listen to themselves, does not honor what they feel they have no real information on which to base their behavior and their decisions. They do not know what they want. They are always searching outside of themselves for information, instead of relying on guidance from their own heart, their own gut. Sometimes our lives have been so hard that we suppress information that we hold in our bodies because we feel unequipped to bear it. But there are therapies now that can help with this. I just thought of another reason why we feel bad, guilty and don't know what to do, and rethink decisions. This is because our situations are HORRIBLE. And nobody could know what to do. And if by chance they did, they would second guess themselves because there would be no way to know that their choice is right and will yield the desired result. The stakes are so high. We have so little control. Our lives our turned upside down. That is why we feel like :censored2:. [/QUOTE]

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