My D.C. Is 16 years old. I won't go into his whole history, but these behaviors have been going on for 7 long years. He was just suspended for 2 days from school for fighting. This is his 2nd code of conduct disorder (for sports). Last year he got one for smoking pot. The school went easy on him last year because he "self reported". I corrected them on that. His dad and I reported him. Trying desperately to get him to see that there are consequences. Last month his school computer was taken back by the school because he was using it to download porn and other stuff. We also reported that. It was turned over to the police and they didn't find enough to press charges. They told us they found that he has an interest in illegal activity but nothing they could charge him with. If he fights again at school he will be expelled. The police are deciding whether or not to issue a citation. He told us he feels no remorse about what happened and has been a real piece of work with a lovely attitude ever since he got in trouble at school (well, he's always like that but more so now). The school thinks that sports is a good outlet for him (he does have to serve a sports suspension of half a season). I agree that it's a good outlet but am so done with all the crap. I want to tell him that in order to play he needs to get a job and pay for the sports fees. (Oh...he also refuses to work). Why work when you can hang out with friends or sleep??? I feel like he needs to have some sort of monetary input - maybe it will mean more and he'll take behaving so he can play sports more seriously. His dad agrees. So...why do I feel bad? Like I am taking away something from him? Why do I feel guilty? Why do I always question myself?