why do I get so upset

[Kjs]

I have just been losing it lately. I know I do, I try not to..but I do. I am worried about myself. psychiatrist put me on Lamictal about 6 weeks ago hoping to help my very often mood swings.

could it be menopause? Had a total hysterectomy 4 years ago. Been suffering with hot flashes since. I have tried all the vitamins, herbal stuff...HRT patch. After a year of .025 patch I told Dr. it didn't help at all. They raised it up a tiny bit. Still no relief. Any other suggestions?

I was really angry at difficult child's school yesterday and I let them know. Not a good idea. With the block scedule and getting credits at semester they cover a lot of material each day. About a month ago difficult child was sick for two days. I was told by the principal/director that is too much time to miss. Equivalent to 4 days. I told him then he was sick. He mentioned it several times in the same conversation. I told him he was throwing up should I have sent him to school? (actually he wasn't throwing up it was the other end! didn't want to tell him that)

So IEP Tuesday - not happy with that.
Wednesday I pick him up and he has a horrible headache. He says one of the worst. On the way home I realize he has no binder, homework. So I turn around and bring him back. He goes in gets it and gets in the car and lays down. Teacher walked him out and said she would give him until Friday for the project(two extra days) Said she could tell he wasn't feeling well.

Thursday - He stayed home. Said he was really sick. Hasn't felt right since last Saturday. Within 30 minutes he was throwing up...for real this time. He asked to go to doctor. I get home from work and the dog had thrown up in three places on the carpet. Walk in the bathroom and difficult child had missed a bit...go in his room and he is laying on the floor infront of a space heater with door shut, sleeping. (he has been unbelievably tired. Sleeping all day, all night).

Friday - husband was home. difficult child calls me at work and tells me he isn't feeling well. Head, throat, stomach and so very tired. I asked if he could try to make it at school. thinking he would feel better if he just started moving around. Plus husband told him he had to go.

First class is engineering. Starts at 7:30. By 8 am the liason officer called to say he put his head down in class and they can't have that. So they took him to the office and will return him to class. As he was talking difficult child ran out. Threw up! (in bathroom) Officer was angry he left and sent him to class. He texted husband and asked to be picked up. They made him go to class and not use the phone. husband picked him up. And he threw up again. Slept all day and got up when I was leaving for work and went back to bed.

I get an email from engineering teacher (they butt heads). Said he put his head down in class and that just cannot happen. Said it would be a safety hazard in the shop/lab area. I understand that. But he went on to say he missed two quizzes and he will make those up on Monday morning. He said if difficult child cannot stay awake he cannot be in his class. Also was suppose to have a binder check which didn't happen because difficult child left by 8am. Told me not to send him to school.

OK...I lost it. I emailed him back and told him difficult child was SICK. I took him to the dr. on Thursday and if I need to supply the school with a dr. slip I can do that. I told him difficult child wanted to go to school because he is trying very hard and really is working for good grades. I then said I believe he has one day for every sick day to make up work and he would NOT be taking the quizzes on Monday. He will need to review the material that the quiz was on with him. I said we can make arrangements to come in early or stay late. (three day week next week..then following week finals for quarter)

I get email back saying I should not send him to school, saftey issue, he is not keeping up with his part of the project and his partner is doing all the work...etc.

I get home and difficult child tells me they were in the classroom not the shop/lab. Tells me when he went back to class after getting sick he asked someone what page they were on so he could follow along and teacher started yelling at him very loudly for talking when he was. difficult child said HE DID ALL the research for the project and partner did nothing. Also said difficult child is willing to come in an hour early and stay late. Teachers are not willing to do so. I was told they get paid from 7:25 to 2:55. (one teacher is willing)

I lose it again. email him back (after taking ambien.. haven't slept more than 2 hours in 3 days) Told him I am getting mixed messages. Told he should not miss school. told him difficult child WANTED to go because he is working so hard. And..not sure what else I wrote but I was really angry and I am now afraid to logon to my email.

I am losing it so often and whoever is in front of me is the target. I am really worried and don't know what to do. When I say I lose my temper...I REALLY lose my temper. I scare myself.

 

[Hound dog]

I think you should've lost it after all that. What the heck is up with that school anyway??

Personally, I'd have lost it quite a bit before you did, and I'd have done it in teacher/principals face so I could have the joy of screaming at them.

Everyone has the right to be sick. You can't tell a student/parents it's a safety issue to have a child at school sick and yet punish them for staying home where they should've been. You simply cannot have your cake and eat it too.

I think I'd be sorting this out with the Principal and teachers in a meeting together, and if I had to get mad, then so be it. That's the way the ball bounces.

Hope difficult child is feeling better soon. Sounds like he was unfortunate enough to catch the really bad virus that's going around this year.

((hugs))

 

[Josie]

My HRT patch is .075. My doctor says she has found the patch needs to be higher than what she would give in a pill. I also had a total hysterectomy 4 years ago. I never have hot flashes with this dose. With the .05 patch, I do have them.

I would be mad about the school, too.

 

[mrscatinthehat]

OH in this case you have every right to be angry. I would hit them with both barrels. Take in the doctors note and shove it up their...oh wait that might be ineffective with their heads already there. Sorry difficult child hasn't been feeling well. Hope things get straightened out soon.

hugs
beth

 

[1 Day At a Time]

Kjs,

I hear what you are saying, and I completely understand why you are upset.

Our difficult child is on the block system, and I don't mind saying I absolutely detest it. I would have taken difficult child out of the school years ago but he is adamant about wanting to stay there, so we have suffered through it.

It is absolutely true, that when you miss a block system class you are missing several days' work. There is no room for "life" in that. Kids can't afford to be sick, they can't afford to miss any time at all - it's just too difficult to make up the time. Our difficult child has a physicial disability as well as Asperger's Syndrome. He has numerous physicians' appointments - he has to go to the orthodontist, the dentist, the periodontist... You get the picture. None of these docs or dentists set appointments outside of school hours. So, we are constantly negotiating with teachers about missed work. difficult child hates doing the work when he is in class , and he really hates making it up!!!

This was never an issue when I went to high school . If you were sick, it was ok to stay home and you had time to make up your work. No one stressed about it. I think these kids have absolutely too much pressure.

If I had it to do over, I'd have our difficult child in a different school where we didn't have to fight so hard for accommodations for his needs. Maybe another school would be more accommodating for your son?

 

[totoro]

One thing, at least you are *seeing* this. I would be worried if you thought you were fine and walking around thinking it is everyone else and you DID not lose it!! Know what I mean??
Because i have gotten pretty good at being able to tell when I am losing it. At one time though I would lose it and, think, "What? why is everyone else ****** at me now and cowering!" LOL
I think you have a right to be mad, but you may also have hormones and medications making it worse!!!
Sometimes like right now I am upping my Lamictal, and switching my Ambien because I am not sleeping either, this all equals= grumpy Totoro!!!
Oh and K screaming non-stop at the Fall Festival last night in the quiet cafeteria, because the nachos were hot and then she flung them EVERYWHERE!!! Lots of eyes on us!!! Which led to an hour+ screaming violent rage once home... not grumpy...

You have everyright to be grumpy!!! But you may want to check your levels and medications....

 

[susiestar]

Oh, Wow! I can't believe that other schools are doing this. We are seriously thinking about pulling Jessie out of school because she has missed so much due to illness and injury. She is miserable, tries her darndest to stay in school, and has been sitting in class with tears rolling down her face. One of her FRIENDS used her cell phone in the bathroom to call me about this 2 weeks ago. Seh was so worried about Jess, because she was just hurting so much. Using cell phones during school hours is an automatic suspension, and this friend is a total good kid/easy child never breaks rules. So to have HER call me with-o Jessie knowing meant that Jessie was in BAD shape.

I have gotten letters from school telling me that I have to keep her out for 24 hours after she vomits, no matter what the doctor says. BUT I have to have an actual doctor note saying she is absent and can return on X date. The docs are getting mad about having to keep writing notes.

It is good you realize you are so upset. I think ANY mom would be upset in your condition. I know I am. And you have to be scared, having your child have treatment-resistant migraines is SCARY.

Remember you are not fighting this alone. We are all right there with you, sitting on your shoulders and helping you stand tall and fight for your child.

Hugs!!!!!

 

[TerryJ2]

Kjs, you know, you could be coming down with-something, too.
Or, it could be hormones.
But unless you're Condoleeza Rice, you will never be a diplomat when it comes to teachers and "the system." It's too aggravating.
One thing about email is that you can cut and paste times, dates and notes and email them to the other teachers and the principal For eg., if the principal emails you (I understand this was in person but if you could get it in email ... ) that two days is too much school to miss, then you get the email from the science lab teacher who says that difficult child put his head down and was sleepy, and you email that he is sick, you put those all into one email that you send to both the instructor and the principal and tell them that you are getting mixed messages, and surely, if they read their own comments, they will understand the misunderstanding.
Heh heh.

You know the old saying, Don't get mad, get even.
But really, you want to do what is best for your difficult child.
And at this point, you may have to just step back and get yourself some sleep this weekend, first and foremost. Tackle school issues another day.
Figure out whether difficult child has the flu or whether his medications are making him sick, or both. It will all resolve itself.

Having the dogs throw up at the same time, hey, I have so been there done that. It all happens at once. I have no idea what that's all about except that it's Cosmic Pigeon Poop.

Get some sleep!

 

[Star*]

Wholey MOLEY -

Had to chuckle because I'm reading your post and then I go back to the title and see WHY do I get so upset???? My thought? After a week like that my title would have read - I"m so sorry friends I've killed someone and I won't be posting here any longer because I didn't hide the bodies well enough.

EEEEEeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssch........woman - are you made of steel? (ting ting) nooooooo GOLD.....made of gold you are!!!!!

I think as we get older - we forget to allow ourselves room to change and morph into older person. Being older doesn't mean you're old it just means you've lived XX amt. of years and NOW ABC isn't as important to you as it was when you were 20. It's a constant give and take, changing, rearranging our priorities...and when you have your first "WHY DO I GET UPSET?" moment? Oh well for me it was the same and someone said nearly the same to me - that if they had to spend 1 week of my life? They'd have to hide the bodies. (literally) lol.

K - GIVE YOURSELF permission to grow. Grow up, Grow older, Grow Wiser, Grow fonder of peace - and tell yourself that time has worn on your psyche just a bit and you can no longer BE ALL, DO ALL, THINK ALL, HAVE ALL, CREATE ALL, at the same time.

DO have a talk with yourself about learning to accept the things you can, the wisdome to know the difference and the courage to deal with the rest. Honest - get yourself a good copy of the Serenity prayer and memorize it. I'm older......and very sage to the world - but someone in that school would ABSOLUTELY be ENTITLED to MY thoughts on Monday - and I would NOT hold back my feelings save for my son.

Hugs - and STRENGTH - (and a cape, a golden lasso and an invisible Jet for you too WOnder WOman)

STar