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General Parenting
Why Do I try soo hard?
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<blockquote data-quote="eekysign" data-source="post: 284221" data-attributes="member: 6479"><p>Your husband is acting a lot like my difficult child Sis......she would always be "brewing" for a while underneath a layer of "I'm fine....*sulk*". One of the most important things we learned was not to force her into "mandatory fun". If she was really being a bear on Christmas morning, we didn't force her to come with the family - she'd only make us all miserable, and nothing we could do would pull her out of her funk. She'd come along (she rarely REFUSED to go), but it was like she expected everyone to figure out how to make her happy, and we never could. So she'd totally lose it (throwing crayons? i hear ya!) eventually. And in public. Agh. So we stopped forcing her to socialize when she was not able to do so politely. </p><p></p><p>In this case, it was Father's Day, but he obviously was miserable about the fact that it really wasn't a good one for him, because his bio kids were being, well, difficult children. He'd been giving you the brush-off all day, indicating he might not have felt very social. He told you on the way to Chili's that he didn't feel up for it, and suggested just going to Sonic. You "ignored him" and went anyway, and then he acted like a giant 5-year-old. </p><p></p><p>It's <u><strong>not</strong></u> your fault, because he's acting like one of our difficult children. His behavior is his responsibility alone. You don't deserve that treatment, because grown adults don't treat each other like that. Has going out with your difficult child and your easy child made him "perk up" in the past? If so, it definitely makes sense that you invited him along with you, despite his behavior all day. I'm just sad that you had such a disappointment. Would he have been worse if you'd just left him at home with some Sonic? (ie, mad at you guys for "abandoning" him on Father's Day?) Or would that have given him time to work it out of his system?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="eekysign, post: 284221, member: 6479"] Your husband is acting a lot like my difficult child Sis......she would always be "brewing" for a while underneath a layer of "I'm fine....*sulk*". One of the most important things we learned was not to force her into "mandatory fun". If she was really being a bear on Christmas morning, we didn't force her to come with the family - she'd only make us all miserable, and nothing we could do would pull her out of her funk. She'd come along (she rarely REFUSED to go), but it was like she expected everyone to figure out how to make her happy, and we never could. So she'd totally lose it (throwing crayons? i hear ya!) eventually. And in public. Agh. So we stopped forcing her to socialize when she was not able to do so politely. In this case, it was Father's Day, but he obviously was miserable about the fact that it really wasn't a good one for him, because his bio kids were being, well, difficult children. He'd been giving you the brush-off all day, indicating he might not have felt very social. He told you on the way to Chili's that he didn't feel up for it, and suggested just going to Sonic. You "ignored him" and went anyway, and then he acted like a giant 5-year-old. It's [U][B]not[/B][/U] your fault, because he's acting like one of our difficult children. His behavior is his responsibility alone. You don't deserve that treatment, because grown adults don't treat each other like that. Has going out with your difficult child and your easy child made him "perk up" in the past? If so, it definitely makes sense that you invited him along with you, despite his behavior all day. I'm just sad that you had such a disappointment. Would he have been worse if you'd just left him at home with some Sonic? (ie, mad at you guys for "abandoning" him on Father's Day?) Or would that have given him time to work it out of his system? [/QUOTE]
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