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General Parenting
Why Do I try soo hard?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 284429" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Eeky- he would have bee worsewhatever Mog decided to do, simply because it's what such people do. They make you guess, and when they want to continue to be miserable they blame you for not guessing correctly (even if you did - but how would you ever know?)</p><p></p><p>So what I suggest in these situations - if someone is determined to be miserable whatever choices YOU make, then go ahead and makr the choices tat will make YOU happy, until they communicate sufficiently with you to make it possible to include them in your plans also.</p><p></p><p>Mog, it IS OK to love someone like this. And it can be done without having to buy into the psychodrama. Sometimes people need time and space to be miserable, by themselves. Remember that misery loves company but certainly shouldn't be given it.</p><p></p><p>If you give him a payoff of attention, it trains him (like a puppy) to behave tis way even more. So instead, let him wallow in his misery if he chooses, but be available for him to interact with appropriately when he chooses.</p><p></p><p>Hopefully he will learn, with consistent parenting!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 284429, member: 1991"] Eeky- he would have bee worsewhatever Mog decided to do, simply because it's what such people do. They make you guess, and when they want to continue to be miserable they blame you for not guessing correctly (even if you did - but how would you ever know?) So what I suggest in these situations - if someone is determined to be miserable whatever choices YOU make, then go ahead and makr the choices tat will make YOU happy, until they communicate sufficiently with you to make it possible to include them in your plans also. Mog, it IS OK to love someone like this. And it can be done without having to buy into the psychodrama. Sometimes people need time and space to be miserable, by themselves. Remember that misery loves company but certainly shouldn't be given it. If you give him a payoff of attention, it trains him (like a puppy) to behave tis way even more. So instead, let him wallow in his misery if he chooses, but be available for him to interact with appropriately when he chooses. Hopefully he will learn, with consistent parenting! Marg [/QUOTE]
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Why Do I try soo hard?
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