Why Does difficult child Always Have to Push It...?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DaisyFace, Jul 27, 2009.

  1. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Good morning everyone, sorry that this is so long--

    It's been a stressful week/weekend here at my house...

    I already posted about the grill doused in insecticide (which we were able to fully clean out--yay!)...

    I already posted about my dog being hit by a car....and now he is limping around the house post-surgery...

    I did NOT post about my husband throwing his back out and barely being able to walk....and that's where this story begins.

    Middle of the night--husband needed to use the bathroom and couldn't get out of bed. He was in such pain and agony that he actually cried out and woke the entire household. So now the kids were up and wondering what was going on....I was trying to get him to the bathroom before he had an accident on himself so I just yelled that everything was OK and the kids should just go back to bed.

    About that time, I heard all kinds of banging noises down the hall...but obviously did not leave husband to investigate.

    The next morning, we awoke to discover that the hallway door had been forced open...so it seems clear that one of the kids had used the chaotic opportunity to sneak out of the house. husband was in NO mood for anything--so he was furious....which set difficult child off--she began threatening all the nasty stuff she was gonna do...and the two of them nearly had a row in the kitchen.

    I intervened...I sent husband out to a doctor appointment/then work...I had a talk with the kids about following the household rules...and I set both of them up with a whole list of chores to be done on Friday.

    Instead of doing her chores, difficult child had to keep "taking a break". She was supposed to be weeding the flower bed, but every time my back weas turned she'd need to "just use the bathroom for a second"--which meant go hang out in her room until I came looking for her.

    Needless to say, I was getting pretty irritated. Her chore was barely done by the time husband came home that afternoon. But he was feeling better, the house was clean, the yard was clean....I thought it was over.

    Boy was I wrong!!

    Sunday, while I was out grocery shopping--difficult child tells husband that she has evidence that her brother was the one who forced the hallway door and that he needed to be punished. She produced a strange audio-tape with a one-sided conversation from her brother talking about fooling the parents. (Evidently, on one of her "breaks" from work, she had bribed her brother with some stolen candy to participate in recording a few 'jokes' on her tape recorder to play for her friends. They took turns telling jokes, but difficult child conveniently paused the recorder during her own part of the conversation).

    So now, it starts all over again...husband gets really angry....difficult child is nearly dancing with glee that her brother will be punished....then DS (who has no intention of being punished for anything) rats out his sister for stealing the candy from her boss and continuing to sneak food from our kitchen...

    So husband announces that they are BOTH in trouble and will spend next weekend in his service doing yard work and what-not.

    difficult child is LIVID....she feels this is totally unfair (since she had intended for only DS to be in trouble)...and she has been stomping around being miserable and nasty....which I expect to continue all week long until next weekend is over.

    The most ridiculous part of this is that if difficult child had not decided to push things by making this ridiculous tape....we probably would not have found out about the candy...and she would not have been in trouble for anything. Instead, she is so angry at the whole family now because we are all being so unfair to her!


    Thanks for letting me vent....Hopefully, this will be the end of this week's adventures.

    Last edited: Jul 27, 2009
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Wow - are you living in my house?

    Actually things are a lot better than they have been. However I so feel where you are coming from!

  3. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    been there done that....have the gray hairs. Why can't they see that all of these lame brained, waaaay too many detailed things NEVER work? I swear, our kids wires are so crossed it would be ridiculous funny if it didn't frustrate us so bad.

    Hugs and hope the week goes better than expected.
  4. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I would be hiding... when you can't reason with them, which is most of the time, it just makes you want to lock yourself up.
    Sorry for your lame weekend.
  5. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member

    I know. Chaos everywhere and you're the one who's unfair. When I hear that I remind my kids that what would be fair would be for me to have some peace in my home. :faint:

    Hope your week gets better -- fast.
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh yuck, what a weekend! Of course, everything is our fault, our difficult children are perfect, or so they think! I hope the week is better. Hugs.
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    I'm sorry it's still WWII in your home. I do have a few suggestions that you can take or leave. I give these to you because after frustrating ourselves to the brink of utter exhaustion we FINALLY took the advice of our therapist and did these few simple things. (slap head years later)

    Install locks on the bedroom doors with keys - you have the only set of keys on a key ring that you wear on a bungee type key fob on your wrist.

    When chores are given? Doors are locked. Rooms are off limits.

    Install a deadbolt on halldoors, front doors, back doors, and side doors. Deadbolts that have KEYS. WHen you go to bed at night - you wear the key ring on your wrist - and you lock YOUR bedroom door. Finally a good nights sleep. You can NOT pry a deadbolted door open.

    Tattle tales get punished -

    Not telling the truth on a sibling that has broken the rules also gets you punished.

    Time limits for chores with consequences. Yeah - Dude hated that one. Pushups stink.

    And then there is ALWAYS sending beautiful little flower off to Auntie Star's Columbia Boot Camp for wayward girls. We could call it - Trading Mommies. BWAH HA HA.....if she thinks living at YOUR house stinks....mannnnnnnnnnnn......haha.

    Hope husband feels better......

    Did you get thee to a doctor yet for thine own self????? OR are you going to shoot craps with the denial dice and wait till you ****-flop in a Piggly Wiggly like I did with a stroke? lol.
  8. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    Thanks so much for your reply and some good advice....

    It is a good idea to lock the bedroom doors during chores--I had not thought of that, but it makes perfect sense. Good idea!

    We have been gradually adding hardware to this house as we go. The worst part is, this is a rental!! When we move out, we are going to owe so much money to put things back the way they were it's not even funny. And yes, it looks like locking deadbolts is the next bit of hardware we will have to install.... aarrgghh!

    We are still fighting the telling/not telling battle--usually because DS has to decide who's punishment is worse for telling/not telling....and unfortunately, he is pretty confident that his parents won't actually kill him--whereas his sister might. So that is a tough one right now...

    I do like the time limits for chores. We can certainly implement that.

    I LOVE the idea of sending difficult child off to Auntie Star's Boot Camp. Do I have to drive her over, or can I just put foot to rear end and give it a good hard kick? (One of these days...!!!)

    husband is feeling better--thank goodness! He has been visiting the chiropractor and that is helping immensely...

    As for myself...? I am currently going for the "hold-it-togther until stroke" option... This is primarily because husband and I still do not have any health insurance for ourselves and we already have way too many medical bills outstanding that we cannot yet pay off (and now we've just added dog surgery and chiropractic visits to that list).

    Hopefully, God has something good in store for us...SOON!