Welcome AnnMarie. I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation with your son. At your son's age, you are powerless to change him, fix him or control him. It is a terrible place to be. As Tanya mentioned, it may be a good idea to read the article on detachment, it is at the bottom of my post here as well.
I think a good place for you to start is to contact NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. You can connect online and they have chapters in many cities. They are a support for YOU. They offer parent courses for exactly what you are going thru with your son, I would recommend you give it a try. You will find resources, information guidance and support. You cannot change your son, but you can change your responses to your son so that you are in the equation and you get your needs met as well. I believe a vital part of this journey we find ourselves on is for us, the parents, to get as much support as we can so we can navigate this terrain with the information we require, but also with support and kindness, options and how to set our boundaries.
Hang in there Annmarie, this is hard stuff. You are not alone. Keep posting, it helps. Seek support. I'm glad you're here.
