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Why is it harder for men?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 190680" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Janet, I am not at all sure why dads often seem to not "get it". Or why we so often end up being the "bad guys". I guess, in my house, I end up the bad guy because my husband will just NOT deal with things. He just refuses. He will wait and wait and wait and do very little hoping that the problem will go away. It isn't just with the kids - he treats the CARS like this too. Rather than getting a problem fixed he would rather turn up the radio or take my car or anything than facing a problem. And I DON'T let him get away with it. I push him to get the car fixed, because if I just keep taking care of htings the entire situation gets worse and worse.</p><p> </p><p>I know how totally shocked I felt when my husband said he thought I had the Sheriff take Wiz away just because I was angry with him over homework. You could have knocked me over with a feather. husband KNEW at the time why I insisted Wiz not live here. But husband ignored all the violence with Wiz (even up to the ER trip to deal with my hand after Wiz damaged it in a rage) so that he wouldn't have to cope.</p><p> </p><p>NOT ALL husband'S/DADS ARE LIKE THIS. I do know htis. But Tony hasn't really coped with Cory's stunts. He hasn't had to. So he is coming into this where you were many years ago. </p><p> </p><p>I am sorry this is the way it is. Cory does not now, nor will he respect your boundaries or rules. The situation with the gun is NOT your or Tony's fault. The guns were legally owned by other adult family members. cory was staying with you as a very nice favor while he was on house arrest. But Tony hasn't faced the fact that Cory has no respect for him, or for Jamie, or for Jamie's sacrifice. It is quite common with our difficult children, in my opinion.</p><p> </p><p>You will probably have to keep pushing Tony to do the right thing. And in this case, in my opinion, pressing charges is the right thing. Cory VIOLATED Tony, YOU, and Jamie. Before Tony lets all of this slide, he really NEEDS to ask JAMIE what should happen.</p><p> </p><p>And, Tony should probably think about what will happen next if Cory isn't punished for this. Because it will only keep getting worse.</p><p> </p><p>Sending hugs,</p><p> </p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 190680, member: 1233"] Janet, I am not at all sure why dads often seem to not "get it". Or why we so often end up being the "bad guys". I guess, in my house, I end up the bad guy because my husband will just NOT deal with things. He just refuses. He will wait and wait and wait and do very little hoping that the problem will go away. It isn't just with the kids - he treats the CARS like this too. Rather than getting a problem fixed he would rather turn up the radio or take my car or anything than facing a problem. And I DON'T let him get away with it. I push him to get the car fixed, because if I just keep taking care of htings the entire situation gets worse and worse. I know how totally shocked I felt when my husband said he thought I had the Sheriff take Wiz away just because I was angry with him over homework. You could have knocked me over with a feather. husband KNEW at the time why I insisted Wiz not live here. But husband ignored all the violence with Wiz (even up to the ER trip to deal with my hand after Wiz damaged it in a rage) so that he wouldn't have to cope. NOT ALL husband'S/DADS ARE LIKE THIS. I do know htis. But Tony hasn't really coped with Cory's stunts. He hasn't had to. So he is coming into this where you were many years ago. I am sorry this is the way it is. Cory does not now, nor will he respect your boundaries or rules. The situation with the gun is NOT your or Tony's fault. The guns were legally owned by other adult family members. cory was staying with you as a very nice favor while he was on house arrest. But Tony hasn't faced the fact that Cory has no respect for him, or for Jamie, or for Jamie's sacrifice. It is quite common with our difficult children, in my opinion. You will probably have to keep pushing Tony to do the right thing. And in this case, in my opinion, pressing charges is the right thing. Cory VIOLATED Tony, YOU, and Jamie. Before Tony lets all of this slide, he really NEEDS to ask JAMIE what should happen. And, Tony should probably think about what will happen next if Cory isn't punished for this. Because it will only keep getting worse. Sending hugs, Susie [/QUOTE]
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