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WHY (mother in law vent) WHY?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 338092" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>We were in your mother in law's shoes over the past year. We had three of our kids getting married on three different occasions. We invited everybody, we would have loved to have seen them. We knew that some could not come at all because we could not make accommodations for small children. I was disappointed to not see the family members who were unable to come - but for pete's sake, I would not chastise them over it!</p><p></p><p>This is a control issue, nothing more. People who try to asset control to this extent have absolutely no qualms about convincing themselves that any previous negative experiences either didn't happen, or were something else entirely.</p><p></p><p>Your kids are more important. If husband wants to go and you can manage, then of course he should go. But tell mother in law freely - the doctor has expressly forbidden the girls to travel, at least for now. It would be selfish (use that word) for you to put your own desired to attend, above the welfare of your girls.</p><p></p><p>It's as simple as that. Make sure you use that phrasing, make it clear that you would love to be there but the girls' clearly understood medical needs come first and it would be selfish of you to go against doctor's orders.</p><p></p><p>Then stop worrying about her and what she thinks. If she can so effectively deny past problems, then of what value is her opinion?</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 338092, member: 1991"] We were in your mother in law's shoes over the past year. We had three of our kids getting married on three different occasions. We invited everybody, we would have loved to have seen them. We knew that some could not come at all because we could not make accommodations for small children. I was disappointed to not see the family members who were unable to come - but for pete's sake, I would not chastise them over it! This is a control issue, nothing more. People who try to asset control to this extent have absolutely no qualms about convincing themselves that any previous negative experiences either didn't happen, or were something else entirely. Your kids are more important. If husband wants to go and you can manage, then of course he should go. But tell mother in law freely - the doctor has expressly forbidden the girls to travel, at least for now. It would be selfish (use that word) for you to put your own desired to attend, above the welfare of your girls. It's as simple as that. Make sure you use that phrasing, make it clear that you would love to be there but the girls' clearly understood medical needs come first and it would be selfish of you to go against doctor's orders. Then stop worrying about her and what she thinks. If she can so effectively deny past problems, then of what value is her opinion? Marg [/QUOTE]
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WHY (mother in law vent) WHY?
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