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General Parenting
Why was it I felt like I was the one being treated like I'm on probation?
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 391520" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>I just got home- I went to work first thing this AM to put required paperwork in for last week's trip, ate an early lunch there because you can't beat the price and they were celebrating something so the meal was extra special, then drove 2 hours to get to VA to have my mammo done. Then I went to our old vet and picked up preventative stuff for the dogss and came home to find he left me a VM about 4:30 this evening saying he wants to stop by tomorrow. He can be here when I get off work. I don't want him here when I get off work. I want time to straighten the house and I am not doing it tonight. The weekend was spent driving, unpacking, doing laundry, going to the store, catching up on a week's worth of mail etc. I planned to get the house straightened over the long weekend because I have to work tomorrow and Wed. In my mind, given that I'm not the one on probation and difficult child isn't living here so they don't need to verify his whereabouts, I'm bending over enough to meet with them at all and put up with monthly phone calls, etc, which obviously serve NO benefit to helping rehabilitate a difficult child who's incarcerated because the mother called caops on him for committing an offense against her. I don't feel like I owe these people anything. I'm darn sure sick of jumping when they say jump. Now, if he'd scheduled a week or so ago it would be different. But I'm not at their beckon call. And if I was out of town this week for the holidays- what exactly would he say or do? That's why you don't wait until 4:30 the day before you need to see someone or stop by unnanounced unless the person is on probation and supposed to be there.</p><p></p><p>ETA: Sorry for being so cranky about this but I have had to send five emails over the past ten days and make phone calls to dept of correctional education AGAIN to get difficult child's IEP where it should have been to begin with. I wrote a letter giving 4 friggin points- very vaild things that had been agreed to verbally. First, I get a draft back with one point added. So I email back about other points, get draft back with two things added, no mention of fourth thing. I email about it and get no repsonse. This is what it is like in this state. I'm happy for those who have had better expereinces but I know this isn't due to me not being willing or trying to work with these people. It is the way they are taught here- you can tell because they all use the same lines with the parents. But I have a lot more vigilance when it comes to difficult child's IEP because obviously, it does benefit him. Whether or not this guy sees me tomorrow or Wed makes no difference in the big scheme of things. He could have called a week ago and said he needed to do a home visit, when would it be convenient. I don't do "I have to see you in less than 24 hours" very well- see thread title! I went thru this early on with last PO and told him if he needed someone to be at his beckon call and have difficult child where ever whenever at a moments notice and tell the guardian every single thing to do, they really needed to get difficult child in a group home where they would be paying his custodians and the guardians would be working for them.</p><p></p><p>Any few mins of spare time tomorrow during normal working hours and shortly thereafter (since my hours run earlier than most), will be spent on the phone trying to get old mammo and ultrasound results sent to VA- again- because twice I've had scares and there are areas that were supposed to be watched but I hadn't been able to get a mammo inn the past few years until now. Right now I'm more worried about that and getting my prof license changed to this address than I am about a guy seeing the inside of my home. It was spending years putting difficult child issues and jumping thru hoops for these court people that landed me unemployed and losing my home. I'll be ****** if I'm doing it again. When they say "they'll work around my schedule, they better prepared to back that up because I have told them already- there won't be countless times I take off work for this koi and there won't be pushing everything else to the back burner this time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 391520, member: 3699"] I just got home- I went to work first thing this AM to put required paperwork in for last week's trip, ate an early lunch there because you can't beat the price and they were celebrating something so the meal was extra special, then drove 2 hours to get to VA to have my mammo done. Then I went to our old vet and picked up preventative stuff for the dogss and came home to find he left me a VM about 4:30 this evening saying he wants to stop by tomorrow. He can be here when I get off work. I don't want him here when I get off work. I want time to straighten the house and I am not doing it tonight. The weekend was spent driving, unpacking, doing laundry, going to the store, catching up on a week's worth of mail etc. I planned to get the house straightened over the long weekend because I have to work tomorrow and Wed. In my mind, given that I'm not the one on probation and difficult child isn't living here so they don't need to verify his whereabouts, I'm bending over enough to meet with them at all and put up with monthly phone calls, etc, which obviously serve NO benefit to helping rehabilitate a difficult child who's incarcerated because the mother called caops on him for committing an offense against her. I don't feel like I owe these people anything. I'm darn sure sick of jumping when they say jump. Now, if he'd scheduled a week or so ago it would be different. But I'm not at their beckon call. And if I was out of town this week for the holidays- what exactly would he say or do? That's why you don't wait until 4:30 the day before you need to see someone or stop by unnanounced unless the person is on probation and supposed to be there. ETA: Sorry for being so cranky about this but I have had to send five emails over the past ten days and make phone calls to dept of correctional education AGAIN to get difficult child's IEP where it should have been to begin with. I wrote a letter giving 4 friggin points- very vaild things that had been agreed to verbally. First, I get a draft back with one point added. So I email back about other points, get draft back with two things added, no mention of fourth thing. I email about it and get no repsonse. This is what it is like in this state. I'm happy for those who have had better expereinces but I know this isn't due to me not being willing or trying to work with these people. It is the way they are taught here- you can tell because they all use the same lines with the parents. But I have a lot more vigilance when it comes to difficult child's IEP because obviously, it does benefit him. Whether or not this guy sees me tomorrow or Wed makes no difference in the big scheme of things. He could have called a week ago and said he needed to do a home visit, when would it be convenient. I don't do "I have to see you in less than 24 hours" very well- see thread title! I went thru this early on with last PO and told him if he needed someone to be at his beckon call and have difficult child where ever whenever at a moments notice and tell the guardian every single thing to do, they really needed to get difficult child in a group home where they would be paying his custodians and the guardians would be working for them. Any few mins of spare time tomorrow during normal working hours and shortly thereafter (since my hours run earlier than most), will be spent on the phone trying to get old mammo and ultrasound results sent to VA- again- because twice I've had scares and there are areas that were supposed to be watched but I hadn't been able to get a mammo inn the past few years until now. Right now I'm more worried about that and getting my prof license changed to this address than I am about a guy seeing the inside of my home. It was spending years putting difficult child issues and jumping thru hoops for these court people that landed me unemployed and losing my home. I'll be ****** if I'm doing it again. When they say "they'll work around my schedule, they better prepared to back that up because I have told them already- there won't be countless times I take off work for this koi and there won't be pushing everything else to the back burner this time. [/QUOTE]
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Why was it I felt like I was the one being treated like I'm on probation?
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