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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 659076" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I agree. Only I think the primary intent <em>is</em> to create the breakdown. The money, the public and private humiliation in having been purposefully excluded ~ even in this final act of your mother's life....</p><p></p><p>I am deeply sorry this is happening, nlj.</p><p></p><p>In my FOO, we all scares ourselves silly over the when of the death, over the what of the Will. That is a weapon a mother may wield too, if she chooses. We are defenseless in the face of responsibility to an aging parent. This is an ethical question. In our response to our aging parent, we name ourselves forever. "I did the right thing." versus "I turned away from my own mother when she needed someone to help her and there was only me. And I turned away." If we choose incorrectly, if we turn away and realize too late that choice is not something we can live with after all, that decision will haunt us, maybe even define us to ourselves, for the rest of our lives.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 659076, member: 17461"] I agree. Only I think the primary intent [I]is[/I] to create the breakdown. The money, the public and private humiliation in having been purposefully excluded ~ even in this final act of your mother's life.... I am deeply sorry this is happening, nlj. In my FOO, we all scares ourselves silly over the when of the death, over the what of the Will. That is a weapon a mother may wield too, if she chooses. We are defenseless in the face of responsibility to an aging parent. This is an ethical question. In our response to our aging parent, we name ourselves forever. "I did the right thing." versus "I turned away from my own mother when she needed someone to help her and there was only me. And I turned away." If we choose incorrectly, if we turn away and realize too late that choice is not something we can live with after all, that decision will haunt us, maybe even define us to ourselves, for the rest of our lives. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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