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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 659391" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>I think for myself and maybe others here, I didn't see my father as magical or expect him to be. I would have accepted neutral. And I do understand about seeing our parents as human. I see that more with my mother. I could waste my time being upset with certain things, but I totally see my mom as "human," faults and all. And I smile every time I think of her. </p><p></p><p>But my father was harmful, devious, violent...etc. and as children, we are innocent, naive, vulnerable and in need of protection and nurturing. Children, the elderly and the infirm are even protected by law due to their vulnerability. It's NOT ok in my book to prey on this vulnerability and it somehow is even less ok if a parent purposefully harms his or her own child...even an adult child. As an adult, I have accepted that my father was simply incapable and disturbed. It's sad, really.</p><p></p><p>And when he died, my only prayer was that in the afterlife he would find health (mental) and peace. I have found this for myself on my own and do understand it is and always was my responsibility.</p><p></p><p>by the way, I took frequent breaks and often long ones from my father. Well worth it. Life moved on even with some difficulties. Even our difficult child knows that being unkind won't be tolerated for very long. I know with her mood swings it isn't easy for her, but she is not mean spirited and she curtails excessive crxp. And when she gets close to the edge, she apologies later. This to me, is human. (But, I will think about what you said Pasajes...very interesting input!!!)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 659391, member: 4152"] I think for myself and maybe others here, I didn't see my father as magical or expect him to be. I would have accepted neutral. And I do understand about seeing our parents as human. I see that more with my mother. I could waste my time being upset with certain things, but I totally see my mom as "human," faults and all. And I smile every time I think of her. But my father was harmful, devious, violent...etc. and as children, we are innocent, naive, vulnerable and in need of protection and nurturing. Children, the elderly and the infirm are even protected by law due to their vulnerability. It's NOT ok in my book to prey on this vulnerability and it somehow is even less ok if a parent purposefully harms his or her own child...even an adult child. As an adult, I have accepted that my father was simply incapable and disturbed. It's sad, really. And when he died, my only prayer was that in the afterlife he would find health (mental) and peace. I have found this for myself on my own and do understand it is and always was my responsibility. by the way, I took frequent breaks and often long ones from my father. Well worth it. Life moved on even with some difficulties. Even our difficult child knows that being unkind won't be tolerated for very long. I know with her mood swings it isn't easy for her, but she is not mean spirited and she curtails excessive crxp. And when she gets close to the edge, she apologies later. This to me, is human. (But, I will think about what you said Pasajes...very interesting input!!!) [/QUOTE]
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