FluffyOne
New Member
I stumbled across this forum today in a search to ease my guilt about what occurred last night at our house.
A little background info: a little over 11 years ago, we adopted 4 siblings (now 22,19,18 & 17). The older 2 have varying degrees of mental illness due to their past. We also have 2 more non-related adopted children (ages 21 & 9).
This post is concerning the our 19 year old daughter. When she turned 18, we sent her to Job Corps because she was becoming increasingly violent towards me and her 3 younger siblings - and she was purposefully flunking out of high school (was 18 and had 2 years left to finish). We've spent a lot of time and money on special schools, therapies, therapists, residential treatment, etc. Nothing has helped.
Due to COVID19, they shut down Job Corps in our state yesterday. Initially, she called my husband and told him she was going to stay with a friend. No problem, because we were not going to let her come home (and she knows it). However, come to find out, JC will only pay to send program participants to their hometown (her friend lives in a different part of the state). We won't pay to send her to her friend's house because she foolishly wastes any money she has (so obviously, she has no money of her own to buy a ticket) and we don't enable her irresponsible behavior. So, the next phone call was that she wanted to come home. My husband and I stated absolutely no way due to fear for the younger 3 kids (my husband and I both work outside the home, and school statewide has been canceled until the end of the month - leaving them alone with her all day). She hung up on my husband when he was trying to ask her about what her options were. Next, we get a phone call from someone at JC telling us that if she didn't come home, they had no choice but to put her in a homeless shelter. I told the JC rep, 'That's fine, because she can't come here.'
My next call was to my 76 year old mother (lives in our same town) to warn her not to take any calls from my daughter. Mom's health is not good, and daughter would try to manipulate her into allowing her to stay there (about a month until the JC center will re-open).
I'm not really looking for advice. I just needed to vent because no one else understands what it's like to deal with this for years on end - with no end in sight.
A little background info: a little over 11 years ago, we adopted 4 siblings (now 22,19,18 & 17). The older 2 have varying degrees of mental illness due to their past. We also have 2 more non-related adopted children (ages 21 & 9).
This post is concerning the our 19 year old daughter. When she turned 18, we sent her to Job Corps because she was becoming increasingly violent towards me and her 3 younger siblings - and she was purposefully flunking out of high school (was 18 and had 2 years left to finish). We've spent a lot of time and money on special schools, therapies, therapists, residential treatment, etc. Nothing has helped.
Due to COVID19, they shut down Job Corps in our state yesterday. Initially, she called my husband and told him she was going to stay with a friend. No problem, because we were not going to let her come home (and she knows it). However, come to find out, JC will only pay to send program participants to their hometown (her friend lives in a different part of the state). We won't pay to send her to her friend's house because she foolishly wastes any money she has (so obviously, she has no money of her own to buy a ticket) and we don't enable her irresponsible behavior. So, the next phone call was that she wanted to come home. My husband and I stated absolutely no way due to fear for the younger 3 kids (my husband and I both work outside the home, and school statewide has been canceled until the end of the month - leaving them alone with her all day). She hung up on my husband when he was trying to ask her about what her options were. Next, we get a phone call from someone at JC telling us that if she didn't come home, they had no choice but to put her in a homeless shelter. I told the JC rep, 'That's fine, because she can't come here.'
My next call was to my 76 year old mother (lives in our same town) to warn her not to take any calls from my daughter. Mom's health is not good, and daughter would try to manipulate her into allowing her to stay there (about a month until the JC center will re-open).
I'm not really looking for advice. I just needed to vent because no one else understands what it's like to deal with this for years on end - with no end in sight.
!
