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women who keep going back to abusers???
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<blockquote data-quote="Littleboylost" data-source="post: 725571" data-attributes="member: 21895"><p>I am not a Dr Phil fan but I will give him credit for this. He once said the mind seeks its comfort zone even if it is negative. If that is what a persons comfort zone is they will continue to fall back into that pattern of negativity and codependency. </p><p></p><p>This is why abused people need long term intensive therapy. </p><p></p><p>Much like you I don’t tend to take much of that nonese in a relationship. I did a lot of intensive therapy. I demanded to go when I was 13. My mother didn’t like it but she took me. Who knows why I did seek help and therapy and pulled myself away from the loop of alcoholism, drug abuse, and unhealthy codependent relationships but I did. </p><p></p><p>And my son is right back there. Genes I guess. This was the biggest hurdle I had to get over. If I didn’t I would still be enabling him. </p><p></p><p>Codependent abused people enable their abuser by returning to the negative dynamic and believing falsely that it will change. As much and some can’t detach from their addicts. Some can not detach from their abusers. It is very sad indeed. </p><p></p><p>My sister was in a very abusive relationship and when she finally left her husband with her 2 kids in tow. She came back to my parents house. Her X showed up with a Gun and was threatening to kill her and then himself. I was petrified. I was only around 8 or 9. 3 of my sisters and 2 of my brothers have broken relationships. They never healed and went on to improve their selections and second partners were as bad or the same as the first spouse. That makes me shake my head!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Littleboylost, post: 725571, member: 21895"] I am not a Dr Phil fan but I will give him credit for this. He once said the mind seeks its comfort zone even if it is negative. If that is what a persons comfort zone is they will continue to fall back into that pattern of negativity and codependency. This is why abused people need long term intensive therapy. Much like you I don’t tend to take much of that nonese in a relationship. I did a lot of intensive therapy. I demanded to go when I was 13. My mother didn’t like it but she took me. Who knows why I did seek help and therapy and pulled myself away from the loop of alcoholism, drug abuse, and unhealthy codependent relationships but I did. And my son is right back there. Genes I guess. This was the biggest hurdle I had to get over. If I didn’t I would still be enabling him. Codependent abused people enable their abuser by returning to the negative dynamic and believing falsely that it will change. As much and some can’t detach from their addicts. Some can not detach from their abusers. It is very sad indeed. My sister was in a very abusive relationship and when she finally left her husband with her 2 kids in tow. She came back to my parents house. Her X showed up with a Gun and was threatening to kill her and then himself. I was petrified. I was only around 8 or 9. 3 of my sisters and 2 of my brothers have broken relationships. They never healed and went on to improve their selections and second partners were as bad or the same as the first spouse. That makes me shake my head! [/QUOTE]
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