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<blockquote data-quote="Stella Johnson" data-source="post: 200416" data-attributes="member: 9"><p>Jennifer,</p><p> </p><p>Let me start out by saying I am a single mother too. I know how hard it is to be on your own with no one to fall back on and your child is a difficult child. </p><p> </p><p>I think the school is saying they thinks she has problems at home for several reasons. It isn't an attack on you at all but I really do think you need to examine your difficult child's home life. </p><p> </p><p>I'm not sure what type of discord you have with your ex. Does he see her on a regular basis? How is her relationship with him? How long have you been divorced from him?</p><p> </p><p>It looks like you are living with your boyfriend who also has children with special needs. I had several offers from guys that I dated over the years to live with them. As much as it would have helped me financially, I couldn't do it. My difficult child deserves more commitment than just moving in with a guy. This was just my situtation. I'm not judging you. Just want you to see from another perspective. </p><p> </p><p>With the problems you have had with bio dad alone can cause anxiety in a child. Divorces is harder on the children than anyone else. Now she lives in the same house with your boyfriend and certain days with his children too. Adding step siblings that don't have issues can turn a difficult child's world upside down on it's own let alone adding step children with their own issues to deal with. </p><p> </p><p>The nurse at school is probably asking that you schedule a time because she also has other duties that she has to get done. She is still responsible for all the other kids in school as well. I understand you wanting to know what is going on at school and how difficult child is doing. I would suggest a diary for the teachers and staff to write in that goes home every day. If there is a major issue, then schedule a meeting. </p><p> </p><p>It looks like you guys moved recently too since you said that this is a new school. This alone sends my difficult child off the deep end. We have moved once in 9 years. difficult child could barely handle it even though it was from an apartment to our own home. She requires lots of consistency. It has been 3 years and she loves our home and neighborhood but the change at first threw her for a loop. </p><p> </p><p>Your posts are usually very hurried "sounding". I know you are under constant stress. I know what it's like to have 50 balls in the air and trying not to drop one. </p><p> </p><p>You aren't alone with problems in the school district. I've been through the ringer with them. Document everything, try to not be defensive, and if they tell you something they won't put in writing put a tiny tape recorder in your purse. Don't tell them about it and record every visit to the school. </p><p> </p><p>I'm not trying to offend or hurt you. Just trying to give you another view of the situation to think about. I can see in some cases where the larger part of her anxiety may be coming from home. Home always effects school.</p><p> </p><p>Have you considered getting a place of your own for you and difficult child? If it were me, I would. With a strict schedule that difficult child can get used to and feel safe with, I think will help her immensely. </p><p> </p><p>Anyway, I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I really am trying to help.</p><p> </p><p>Steph (((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Stella Johnson, post: 200416, member: 9"] Jennifer, Let me start out by saying I am a single mother too. I know how hard it is to be on your own with no one to fall back on and your child is a difficult child. I think the school is saying they thinks she has problems at home for several reasons. It isn't an attack on you at all but I really do think you need to examine your difficult child's home life. I'm not sure what type of discord you have with your ex. Does he see her on a regular basis? How is her relationship with him? How long have you been divorced from him? It looks like you are living with your boyfriend who also has children with special needs. I had several offers from guys that I dated over the years to live with them. As much as it would have helped me financially, I couldn't do it. My difficult child deserves more commitment than just moving in with a guy. This was just my situtation. I'm not judging you. Just want you to see from another perspective. With the problems you have had with bio dad alone can cause anxiety in a child. Divorces is harder on the children than anyone else. Now she lives in the same house with your boyfriend and certain days with his children too. Adding step siblings that don't have issues can turn a difficult child's world upside down on it's own let alone adding step children with their own issues to deal with. The nurse at school is probably asking that you schedule a time because she also has other duties that she has to get done. She is still responsible for all the other kids in school as well. I understand you wanting to know what is going on at school and how difficult child is doing. I would suggest a diary for the teachers and staff to write in that goes home every day. If there is a major issue, then schedule a meeting. It looks like you guys moved recently too since you said that this is a new school. This alone sends my difficult child off the deep end. We have moved once in 9 years. difficult child could barely handle it even though it was from an apartment to our own home. She requires lots of consistency. It has been 3 years and she loves our home and neighborhood but the change at first threw her for a loop. Your posts are usually very hurried "sounding". I know you are under constant stress. I know what it's like to have 50 balls in the air and trying not to drop one. You aren't alone with problems in the school district. I've been through the ringer with them. Document everything, try to not be defensive, and if they tell you something they won't put in writing put a tiny tape recorder in your purse. Don't tell them about it and record every visit to the school. I'm not trying to offend or hurt you. Just trying to give you another view of the situation to think about. I can see in some cases where the larger part of her anxiety may be coming from home. Home always effects school. Have you considered getting a place of your own for you and difficult child? If it were me, I would. With a strict schedule that difficult child can get used to and feel safe with, I think will help her immensely. Anyway, I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I really am trying to help. Steph (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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