working really hard to be consistent tonight....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Nov 30, 2011.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Q is still so rashy so he is not able to hold it together very well. Luckily he went with his Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker, only the transition out and back were issues. She said he did well in between.

    But on the way out I gave her his bag lunch (didn't want it to get all over her car) and he got mad. Turned around and spit at me. I have told you guys before, I can take hitting better than spit. It is such a button pusher for me. He was walking out of the door and I actually lunged at him to grab him and make him come in. He jumped back and I thought, forget it, I am just going to lock all of his sports tonight for the entire night. Not my usual go to...usually I lock them for a partial time and he can show he is calm, do something to show he is trying to repair the situation etc. Tonight, sorry. So he is yelling but not aggressive. Really angry and can't I just do it for 15 minutes etc. NOPE. I will tear the house apart. I said ok. He said then I will pay you back, I said ok. He took a bath. I washed his back (usually dont but trying to show him I am not mad at him , just not liking the behavior, but truth to tell, I have some mean feelings for him, spitting on me for a birthday present, thanks son). He never does the things he says, he just vents. But he does do things impulsively.

    Well, I stuck it out... he is calm and doing computer. he can look up the scores. He likes the numbers anyway. Just too out of control. I know it will only help for tonight in terms of improving the behavior by doing this...not gonna happen. been there done that too many times. But I didn't make things worse by teaching him a fit will work. wow he really had a high pitched scream. but you know what...even with all that, he picked up a photo of us and was gonna throw it, but he just stopped and handed it to me. I guess i should focus on that. No hits, no punches, no hurts tonight. He actually did pretty well all considering. I mean for him a consequence like that is not just taking away a preferred activity. It is a huge change in his routine. He uses that to wind down at night. Every night. so huge huge deal he kept it it safe.

    Ok I feel better

    by the way, q's teacher wants me to come to school tomorrow morning to look over the plan we updated, the Special Education coordinator will be there. UMMM, sounding like a meeting to me. gonna not let them talk, they can just hand it to me.

    This has not been a nice day. I did get my sister and mom to care for Q tomorrow for the funeral. I just dont know how I am going to do there. I have talked to several friends. J (the 28 yr old who died) was in an eating disorder program. She was doing well, got a job here for while she stayed to get treatment. They had a great weekend celebrating her birthday and turkey day. There were no chemicals, no suicide. She was just too thin and if she was also throwing up, given the holidays.... she might have had electrolites off... Her mom (my friend) just went in her room to see why she was still sleeping and she was just lying there looking really peaceful. Just couldnt wake her up. Her hubby talked to another friend who called me. He said that hubby was just in shock. These people are SUPER social have thousands of friends...honestly. They are amazingly kind and social. He said my friend is barely holding on. Just so devastated.

    There will not be enough kleenex in the store for me tomorrow.

    I went to buy a pink shirt. they are calling it a celebration of life and asked us to wear pink. I bought a shirt, much smaller than usual. So, went home and into the too small box and found a pair of pants I haven't seen in years.... so happy they fit. Lots more to lose, but at least some good came out of all this stress. (and yes, I am eating, just not any junk.... eating meals is work, not interested in extra, and it is clearly doing me some good)
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    {{hugs}} and {{more hugs}}

    and a smile for the clothes that fit... there has to be SOME sort of pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, after this kind of a storm!