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worn out from abuse
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 711279" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Hi Sandy, welcome. I'm sorry you are having to deal with an abusive adult child.</p><p></p><p>If she has addiction issues, you might post in Substance Abuse and find an Al Anon group near you or a Families Anonymous group, many parents here find solace in the 12 step groups.</p><p></p><p>If she has mental illness, you can contact NAMI,the National Alliance on Mental Illness.They have excellent courses for parents plus resources for your daughter.</p><p></p><p>You might find some support by reading the article at the bottom of my post here on detachment.</p><p></p><p>There is a good book you might enjoy called <u>Codependent no more</u> by Melodie Beattie which outlines behaviors that keep us stuck in relationships where we allow others to manipulate/use us.</p><p></p><p>Many of us here have to learn a very different way to deal with our adult children who abuse and/or manipulate us. We have to learn how to set strong, impenetrable boundaries which is not easy to do. We have to learn how to respond differently, how to say no, how to NOT engage in their crazy making behaviors. In addition we usually need to learn how to put ourselves first and put our needs as a priority. We've gotten used to caring for our kids above all else, it becomes habitual behavior. It takes time and practice to change. Often we need outside professional help. A 12 step group, a therapist, a parent group, a pastor or clergyman, someone you feel safe with and can talk freely with about your issues with your daughter. Someone who can offer guidance and support.</p><p></p><p>A 23 year old woman has no right being abusive to you, you must stop the behavior. I'm not clear on how a protective order will work if she continues to live with you........can she move out? </p><p></p><p>Keep posting Sandy, it helps.......hang in there......I'm glad you're here......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 711279, member: 13542"] Hi Sandy, welcome. I'm sorry you are having to deal with an abusive adult child. If she has addiction issues, you might post in Substance Abuse and find an Al Anon group near you or a Families Anonymous group, many parents here find solace in the 12 step groups. If she has mental illness, you can contact NAMI,the National Alliance on Mental Illness.They have excellent courses for parents plus resources for your daughter. You might find some support by reading the article at the bottom of my post here on detachment. There is a good book you might enjoy called [U]Codependent no more[/U] by Melodie Beattie which outlines behaviors that keep us stuck in relationships where we allow others to manipulate/use us. Many of us here have to learn a very different way to deal with our adult children who abuse and/or manipulate us. We have to learn how to set strong, impenetrable boundaries which is not easy to do. We have to learn how to respond differently, how to say no, how to NOT engage in their crazy making behaviors. In addition we usually need to learn how to put ourselves first and put our needs as a priority. We've gotten used to caring for our kids above all else, it becomes habitual behavior. It takes time and practice to change. Often we need outside professional help. A 12 step group, a therapist, a parent group, a pastor or clergyman, someone you feel safe with and can talk freely with about your issues with your daughter. Someone who can offer guidance and support. A 23 year old woman has no right being abusive to you, you must stop the behavior. I'm not clear on how a protective order will work if she continues to live with you........can she move out? Keep posting Sandy, it helps.......hang in there......I'm glad you're here...... [/QUOTE]
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