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Substance Abuse
Worried yet again
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<blockquote data-quote="DarkwingPsyduck" data-source="post: 694542" data-attributes="member: 20267"><p>I need to correct you on something; he has never actually tried to recover. In order to truly recover, the decision must be our own. It must come from a desire to improve ourselves, our lives, and the lives of our loved one. It sounds like your son has made superficial gestures in the past to avoid negative consequences for his actions. The idea is that you do not support this life style in ANY manner, regardless of how many times and how much money he wastes on these superficial gestures. The message should be that getting clean is what he SHOULD be doing, regardless of whether or not he gets a reward, or avoids some punishment.</p><p></p><p>The way you are feeling right now is what is so selfish about active addiction. YOU suffer from the consequences of his actions that YOU lay out. That isn't fair in any way, shape, or form. Essentially, the consequences of his failures effect you in a much more profound way than it does him. This is so unfortunate, and I am sorry. I don't know how to fix that, or if it even can be fixed. My experience is from the other side of this nightmare, but it is likely that he doesn't really appreciate the depth of your pain. Either because he genuinely does not understand, or, more likely, he makes the effort to remain ignorant to your pain. It is hard to appreciate that while still using.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DarkwingPsyduck, post: 694542, member: 20267"] I need to correct you on something; he has never actually tried to recover. In order to truly recover, the decision must be our own. It must come from a desire to improve ourselves, our lives, and the lives of our loved one. It sounds like your son has made superficial gestures in the past to avoid negative consequences for his actions. The idea is that you do not support this life style in ANY manner, regardless of how many times and how much money he wastes on these superficial gestures. The message should be that getting clean is what he SHOULD be doing, regardless of whether or not he gets a reward, or avoids some punishment. The way you are feeling right now is what is so selfish about active addiction. YOU suffer from the consequences of his actions that YOU lay out. That isn't fair in any way, shape, or form. Essentially, the consequences of his failures effect you in a much more profound way than it does him. This is so unfortunate, and I am sorry. I don't know how to fix that, or if it even can be fixed. My experience is from the other side of this nightmare, but it is likely that he doesn't really appreciate the depth of your pain. Either because he genuinely does not understand, or, more likely, he makes the effort to remain ignorant to your pain. It is hard to appreciate that while still using. [/QUOTE]
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