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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 674933" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>4Now, </p><p></p><p>I can imagine how scared you are. I have been that scared. My 27 year old adult son is on SSI for mental illness and he has been homeless and may be again.</p><p></p><p>My son continually loses his ID and his SSI debit card, too. He is very dependent upon others to take care of him. But he wants to call the shots.</p><p></p><p>If something happened, I believe you would have heard. Even without his ID, I feel certain he has something on his person that would identify him. It is very likely that he is at the shelter, and they could not disclose it. He must have found an alternative to the motel. That is the most likely scenario.</p><p></p><p>Of course there is always the possibility that harm will come to any one of us. </p><p></p><p>Our children, unfortunately, do not seem to seek out stability or security. Instead they do things in the hardest way possible, it seems. That and so many other things is what makes them difficult. </p><p></p><p>We have tried to help them, to teach them, to rescue them, to worry about them. And not one thing changes until we do. </p><p></p><p>That is our task. To change ourselves. To find that peace and contentment we long for. </p><p></p><p>To be more than OK, eaten up with worry and guilt. To thrive and to let our children's lives be their own. </p><p></p><p>I know you are beside yourself. You do not have to be. Not one bit of your suffering helps him. There are services available. He has a safety net. His payee. For one. He will resurface shortly. I know it.</p><p></p><p>It is not that I do not understand how you feel and feel empathy. I do. But a decision has to be made by you about how engaged you choose to be. As long as you believe that anything you can do or not do can keep him safe, you will suffer.</p><p></p><p>He is keeping himself safe. If he gets cold, he will seek shelter. He has that capacity. He will take care of himself. I believe that.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 674933, member: 18958"] 4Now, I can imagine how scared you are. I have been that scared. My 27 year old adult son is on SSI for mental illness and he has been homeless and may be again. My son continually loses his ID and his SSI debit card, too. He is very dependent upon others to take care of him. But he wants to call the shots. If something happened, I believe you would have heard. Even without his ID, I feel certain he has something on his person that would identify him. It is very likely that he is at the shelter, and they could not disclose it. He must have found an alternative to the motel. That is the most likely scenario. Of course there is always the possibility that harm will come to any one of us. Our children, unfortunately, do not seem to seek out stability or security. Instead they do things in the hardest way possible, it seems. That and so many other things is what makes them difficult. We have tried to help them, to teach them, to rescue them, to worry about them. And not one thing changes until we do. That is our task. To change ourselves. To find that peace and contentment we long for. To be more than OK, eaten up with worry and guilt. To thrive and to let our children's lives be their own. I know you are beside yourself. You do not have to be. Not one bit of your suffering helps him. There are services available. He has a safety net. His payee. For one. He will resurface shortly. I know it. It is not that I do not understand how you feel and feel empathy. I do. But a decision has to be made by you about how engaged you choose to be. As long as you believe that anything you can do or not do can keep him safe, you will suffer. He is keeping himself safe. If he gets cold, he will seek shelter. He has that capacity. He will take care of himself. I believe that. COPA [/QUOTE]
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