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worst meeting in a long time
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 588756" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Have you looked into what programs like Goodwill and Sheltered Workshop can offer? I realize he may not want to do this, but letting him stay home and play games all night is not healthy. If he quits school, what is your threshhold for what he must to do be able to live at home? What will you be willing to accept as the minimum from him? I would not allow him to stay home and do nothing and if he refuses to work with a program then maybe if he has to try to fend for himself it would make him more willing to work at a job or program? </p><p></p><p>I am NOT saying to throw him out right away. I am saying to adopt "Do to Get" as your total philosophy for handlng and supporting him. If he won't do, he doesn't get. THis includes power to his game system, the system itself (you don't have to allow access, and even if it is 'his' property, the power to run it is yours and you CAN turn it off or confiscate the unit if it comes to that. NOT fun, he will rage, but it would be better than having him sit around doing nothing for months/years on end. </p><p></p><p>Given his delays, he would qualify for mroe than a few programs and you might have luck searching for grants for job training from the fed govt. If he cannot work because his disabilities, apply for ssi and some type of supportive housing so that he can be a bit more independent and he has to manage some things for himself and you are not the one 'bossing him around' and not lettng him play games all night/sleep all day. the local NAMI chapter and the Dept of Vocational Rehab might help. </p><p></p><p>It soun ds totally frustrating and demoralizing for you. It may b time to figure out what you can tolerate as the minimum for behavior is for him, and what will cause you to tell him to go move out and cope on his own for a while if he is so able to handle his own affairs. Sometimes they have to try to make it on their own before they accept that they cannot and they need help. It is hard, heart breaking, terrifying and awful for a parent, but sometimes we have to accept that and make them do the hard things anyway. Sometimes it totally hoovers to be a parent, doesn't it?</p><p></p><p>(((((hugs)))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 588756, member: 1233"] Have you looked into what programs like Goodwill and Sheltered Workshop can offer? I realize he may not want to do this, but letting him stay home and play games all night is not healthy. If he quits school, what is your threshhold for what he must to do be able to live at home? What will you be willing to accept as the minimum from him? I would not allow him to stay home and do nothing and if he refuses to work with a program then maybe if he has to try to fend for himself it would make him more willing to work at a job or program? I am NOT saying to throw him out right away. I am saying to adopt "Do to Get" as your total philosophy for handlng and supporting him. If he won't do, he doesn't get. THis includes power to his game system, the system itself (you don't have to allow access, and even if it is 'his' property, the power to run it is yours and you CAN turn it off or confiscate the unit if it comes to that. NOT fun, he will rage, but it would be better than having him sit around doing nothing for months/years on end. Given his delays, he would qualify for mroe than a few programs and you might have luck searching for grants for job training from the fed govt. If he cannot work because his disabilities, apply for ssi and some type of supportive housing so that he can be a bit more independent and he has to manage some things for himself and you are not the one 'bossing him around' and not lettng him play games all night/sleep all day. the local NAMI chapter and the Dept of Vocational Rehab might help. It soun ds totally frustrating and demoralizing for you. It may b time to figure out what you can tolerate as the minimum for behavior is for him, and what will cause you to tell him to go move out and cope on his own for a while if he is so able to handle his own affairs. Sometimes they have to try to make it on their own before they accept that they cannot and they need help. It is hard, heart breaking, terrifying and awful for a parent, but sometimes we have to accept that and make them do the hard things anyway. Sometimes it totally hoovers to be a parent, doesn't it? (((((hugs))))) [/QUOTE]
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