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would it be wrong to say..
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 247246" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Yes, absolutely you SHOULD say that. Because then it puts on the table what your KEY goals are for going to counseling. </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">The counselor may not like it and your H may feel put on the spot, but so what? You have a right to state what your ultimate goal is in attending counseling sessions. </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">You should be very up front and state what your needs are. I mean, otherwise, what is the point? To simply sit in that room and rehash old fights and make each other feel like garbage? </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">It is one thing to go to counseling so you can have a better understanding of why one party is feeling hurt and angry or resentful. But ultimately, in my opinion, it comes down to what each party is really desiring as a long term plan. I think by you putting this out there, you will get a real feel for how H feels and whether or not he's willing to put in the work required to get your marriage together again. This is exactly what I plan on doing if H and I ever get into a counselor's office. Because, like you, if neither of us is willing to do the work to get it together, I am bailing asap. I hope it works out better for you. I'm at the end of my very short and fraying rope, personally. Hugs~</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 247246, member: 2211"] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Yes, absolutely you SHOULD say that. Because then it puts on the table what your KEY goals are for going to counseling. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]The counselor may not like it and your H may feel put on the spot, but so what? You have a right to state what your ultimate goal is in attending counseling sessions. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]You should be very up front and state what your needs are. I mean, otherwise, what is the point? To simply sit in that room and rehash old fights and make each other feel like garbage? [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]It is one thing to go to counseling so you can have a better understanding of why one party is feeling hurt and angry or resentful. But ultimately, in my opinion, it comes down to what each party is really desiring as a long term plan. I think by you putting this out there, you will get a real feel for how H feels and whether or not he's willing to put in the work required to get your marriage together again. This is exactly what I plan on doing if H and I ever get into a counselor's office. Because, like you, if neither of us is willing to do the work to get it together, I am bailing asap. I hope it works out better for you. I'm at the end of my very short and fraying rope, personally. Hugs~[/COLOR][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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