Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Would you give difficult child a photo?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 325716" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Good point- I'll let difficult child know that I found him on facebook and ask if he wants a photo. I just don't want it to spark hope and fantasies that he'll end up with a relationship with him- I seriously doubt the man will ever be willing to do that. At least not as long as difficult child is a minor. I have told him the things you suggested already, Janet, because I agree that it only does a child harm to hear bad things about one of their parents. The only thing negative I have said about his father is that he made a very bad, stupid decision in not being a part of difficult child's life- I could never agree or condone that.</p><p></p><p>I thought it might be nice to send difficult child a photo of him in his Christmas card since that's all I can do for him while he's incarcerated, but I wouldn't want to surprise him with it if it will hurt him or instigate more emotional issues.</p><p></p><p>This is probably a bad thing, but I signed up on facebook ynder another name and sent him a friends request- saying I thought I knew him from years back- I mentioned a couple of things that someone who was an aquaintance 10-15 years ago would know. Then, I aasked if he wanted to be facebook friends, would he post or send an older photo than the one he has posted so I could be sure this was him. It will be interesting to see if he accepts the request and puts another photo up. It pretty much has to be him. It's just odd seeing a photo of him with gray hair. LOL!!</p><p></p><p>Anyway, I did a google search for him years ago and found that he was still in the general area where we met. He's from there and there was no other person with the same name popping up. Then, when DSS asked me for info on him, I searched him again online. I got the same info pretty much and again- no info about anyone else in that area with the same name. Then, I just happened to pop his name into facebook tonight and several showed up but only one from that area. He only has one photo on it and it shows he would be about the age that would be right and he really looks the same- except the hair style is a tad different and his hair is gray. You know- people look a tad different from being mid-30's to early 50's. And it's a little shocking for me to see a photo of him after not seeing him since I was pregnant. But I'm sure- this has to be him- the facial expression is even the same. I just keep thinking "I have to be ABSOLUTELY sure"- like some part of me can't believe it.</p><p></p><p>He wouldn't even let me take a photo of him to give to the baby someday- I tried. But now he has it on the internet?? With all women as facebook friends no doubt, except a couple of male family members. Go figure- yep, that adds up. He looks like such a nice guy- I just look at his photo and think "how could you not care about your child? how could you refuse to even show up at the hospital when he's born and see him at all or talk to him on the phone when he was 6 yo?"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 325716, member: 3699"] Good point- I'll let difficult child know that I found him on facebook and ask if he wants a photo. I just don't want it to spark hope and fantasies that he'll end up with a relationship with him- I seriously doubt the man will ever be willing to do that. At least not as long as difficult child is a minor. I have told him the things you suggested already, Janet, because I agree that it only does a child harm to hear bad things about one of their parents. The only thing negative I have said about his father is that he made a very bad, stupid decision in not being a part of difficult child's life- I could never agree or condone that. I thought it might be nice to send difficult child a photo of him in his Christmas card since that's all I can do for him while he's incarcerated, but I wouldn't want to surprise him with it if it will hurt him or instigate more emotional issues. This is probably a bad thing, but I signed up on facebook ynder another name and sent him a friends request- saying I thought I knew him from years back- I mentioned a couple of things that someone who was an aquaintance 10-15 years ago would know. Then, I aasked if he wanted to be facebook friends, would he post or send an older photo than the one he has posted so I could be sure this was him. It will be interesting to see if he accepts the request and puts another photo up. It pretty much has to be him. It's just odd seeing a photo of him with gray hair. LOL!! Anyway, I did a google search for him years ago and found that he was still in the general area where we met. He's from there and there was no other person with the same name popping up. Then, when DSS asked me for info on him, I searched him again online. I got the same info pretty much and again- no info about anyone else in that area with the same name. Then, I just happened to pop his name into facebook tonight and several showed up but only one from that area. He only has one photo on it and it shows he would be about the age that would be right and he really looks the same- except the hair style is a tad different and his hair is gray. You know- people look a tad different from being mid-30's to early 50's. And it's a little shocking for me to see a photo of him after not seeing him since I was pregnant. But I'm sure- this has to be him- the facial expression is even the same. I just keep thinking "I have to be ABSOLUTELY sure"- like some part of me can't believe it. He wouldn't even let me take a photo of him to give to the baby someday- I tried. But now he has it on the internet?? With all women as facebook friends no doubt, except a couple of male family members. Go figure- yep, that adds up. He looks like such a nice guy- I just look at his photo and think "how could you not care about your child? how could you refuse to even show up at the hospital when he's born and see him at all or talk to him on the phone when he was 6 yo?" [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Would you give difficult child a photo?
Top