Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Wow. Either I am TOO detatched...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 367552" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I think husband is probably regressing a bit on his detachment skills. When the whole issue of jail for their sons comes up, fathers get very strange. Especially if it is the first time the son has been there. I didn't realize it until my Dad totally shut down emotionally when my bro was in jail. My father stopped expressing ANY emotion on any level. He crawled into his job and his computer and could handle exactly NONE of the things that had to be arranged, taken care of, or even visits and court dates. My mom had to handle all of it by herself after they bailed him out the first time. </p><p></p><p>Later I realized that Dads go through a bit of a freak-out because they all think, at least on some level, that every man who spends time in jail is raped. I didn't believe it until first my husband said it, then a couple of male friends said it, then every guy at a large al anon meeting agreed. Your husband is probably worried every day that it will be the day your son is attacked. Not all guys can even admit that they have the fear. It took my dad several years to be able to admit it to my mom. My parents were friends with the man who ran the jail my bro was in, so he was watched very carefully and was never hurt or attacked. Until he was out and had been out for a couple of years and finally reassured my dad that nothing had happened my father still thought it might have happened.</p><p></p><p>Your husband is going to want to see difficult child and be able to know he is home and safe. He may not admit these worries to himself, or to you. Unless he goes overboard in letting difficult child do things he should not be allowed to do, I would just give husband some time and space. Listen if he wants to talk. My dad said it took him a long time after gfgbro was out to even admit to himself that he was very worried about possible abuse.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 367552, member: 1233"] I think husband is probably regressing a bit on his detachment skills. When the whole issue of jail for their sons comes up, fathers get very strange. Especially if it is the first time the son has been there. I didn't realize it until my Dad totally shut down emotionally when my bro was in jail. My father stopped expressing ANY emotion on any level. He crawled into his job and his computer and could handle exactly NONE of the things that had to be arranged, taken care of, or even visits and court dates. My mom had to handle all of it by herself after they bailed him out the first time. Later I realized that Dads go through a bit of a freak-out because they all think, at least on some level, that every man who spends time in jail is raped. I didn't believe it until first my husband said it, then a couple of male friends said it, then every guy at a large al anon meeting agreed. Your husband is probably worried every day that it will be the day your son is attacked. Not all guys can even admit that they have the fear. It took my dad several years to be able to admit it to my mom. My parents were friends with the man who ran the jail my bro was in, so he was watched very carefully and was never hurt or attacked. Until he was out and had been out for a couple of years and finally reassured my dad that nothing had happened my father still thought it might have happened. Your husband is going to want to see difficult child and be able to know he is home and safe. He may not admit these worries to himself, or to you. Unless he goes overboard in letting difficult child do things he should not be allowed to do, I would just give husband some time and space. Listen if he wants to talk. My dad said it took him a long time after gfgbro was out to even admit to himself that he was very worried about possible abuse. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Wow. Either I am TOO detatched...
Top