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Wow. Either I am TOO detatched...
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<blockquote data-quote="helpme" data-source="post: 367671" data-attributes="member: 8202"><p>I can agree with susiestar. Fathers do not handle their son's being in jail very well at all.</p><p>I was with my ex for 20+ years and I have never seen him break down except the first</p><p>time his son was in jail and he could not bond him out because it was too expensive.</p><p>Dad/ex called me crying like a blubbering baby (never saw him cry before). Dad was on</p><p>his second day of having son in jail and could barely form a sentence much less get off</p><p>the couch. It killed him to call me (he wouldn't have except he wanted to ask for the</p><p>money). It killed him to even acknowledge or son had this big of problems. Overall,</p><p>it only worked out to be short acceptance phases which after son was released led to</p><p>dad being in even bigger denial about our son's behavior. </p><p></p><p>True, each time got easier for him, but he also got smarter on handling warrants,</p><p>having an attorney on call at all times, having pre-arranged settings to have bail posted</p><p>and the child never even seeing the judge (thereby kept from overnights or standard</p><p>hold times for battery/domestic etc.).</p><p></p><p><strong><strong>mstang67chic</strong>- <strong><span style="color: RoyalBlue">I think you did a great job. I have been in the same situations,</span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: RoyalBlue">and learned to react the exact same way. Also, I have always gotten lucky (?)</span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: RoyalBlue">with not putting up bail money because usually our son was safer in jail rather </span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: RoyalBlue">than to be back on the streets struggling to deal with the exact same issue that </span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: RoyalBlue">put him in jail (drug dealers, thieving groups, gang rape, mob action, battery).</span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: RoyalBlue">I also did not pay for any phone time because difficult child was still learning to keep his</span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: RoyalBlue">mouth shut after giving so many false statements. Safer for him to be without</span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: RoyalBlue">phone privileges.</span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: RoyalBlue"></span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: RoyalBlue">But each time, I was never able to convince dad/ex that he was safer in than out.</span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: RoyalBlue">Everyone else I knew except dad's family, men and women alike said he was safer</span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: RoyalBlue">in than out. Narking/tattling / pleading for lesser charges was not even a concern </span></strong></strong></p><p><span style="color: RoyalBlue"><strong>as was the actual ordeal son was dealing with and being charged for.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: RoyalBlue"></span></p><p><span style="color: RoyalBlue"><strong>For me, I was more worried a few times I saw our son beat and whipped to a pulp.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: RoyalBlue"><strong>But for dad, he could care less about any medical attention for that. The concept of</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: RoyalBlue"><strong>his son being attacked in jail was an entirely different story.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: RoyalBlue"></span></p><p><span style="color: RoyalBlue"><strong>Keep up the good work, I'll send good vibes for dad to do a bit better <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: RoyalBlue"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="helpme, post: 367671, member: 8202"] I can agree with susiestar. Fathers do not handle their son's being in jail very well at all. I was with my ex for 20+ years and I have never seen him break down except the first time his son was in jail and he could not bond him out because it was too expensive. Dad/ex called me crying like a blubbering baby (never saw him cry before). Dad was on his second day of having son in jail and could barely form a sentence much less get off the couch. It killed him to call me (he wouldn't have except he wanted to ask for the money). It killed him to even acknowledge or son had this big of problems. Overall, it only worked out to be short acceptance phases which after son was released led to dad being in even bigger denial about our son's behavior. True, each time got easier for him, but he also got smarter on handling warrants, having an attorney on call at all times, having pre-arranged settings to have bail posted and the child never even seeing the judge (thereby kept from overnights or standard hold times for battery/domestic etc.). [B][B]mstang67chic[/B]- [B][COLOR=RoyalBlue]I think you did a great job. I have been in the same situations, and learned to react the exact same way. Also, I have always gotten lucky (?) with not putting up bail money because usually our son was safer in jail rather than to be back on the streets struggling to deal with the exact same issue that put him in jail (drug dealers, thieving groups, gang rape, mob action, battery). I also did not pay for any phone time because difficult child was still learning to keep his mouth shut after giving so many false statements. Safer for him to be without phone privileges. But each time, I was never able to convince dad/ex that he was safer in than out. Everyone else I knew except dad's family, men and women alike said he was safer in than out. Narking/tattling / pleading for lesser charges was not even a concern [/COLOR][/B][/B] [COLOR=RoyalBlue][B]as was the actual ordeal son was dealing with and being charged for.[/B] [B][/B] [B]For me, I was more worried a few times I saw our son beat and whipped to a pulp.[/B] [B]But for dad, he could care less about any medical attention for that. The concept of[/B] [B]his son being attacked in jail was an entirely different story.[/B] [B][/B] [B]Keep up the good work, I'll send good vibes for dad to do a bit better :)[/B] [B][/B][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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