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<blockquote data-quote="barneysmom" data-source="post: 403720" data-attributes="member: 1872"><p>((((((((myfirstandlast)))))))</p><p></p><p>I have had many hateful things said to me. You must have been stunned when he called you a murderer.</p><p></p><p>I think with the High-Functioning Autism (HFA) issues, he doesn't have the language skills to convey his agonizing feelings -- may not know how to identify feelings in the first place, just knows he's acutely uncomfortable. Also as JJJ said, may be feeling guilty himself. Also his age -- 15 -- all the teen years are notorious with our kids. Tumultuous feelings. He must be right on the edge 24/7, as you know, because if you don't act like everything's OK, he explodes -- but no language to convey how bad he's feeling.</p><p></p><p>He doesn't wish you were dead instead of his dad. I think he's saying he wishes things were different. Calling you a murderer may be the best he's got. Maybe try something like "I'm not a murderer, your dad took his own life, I don't take the blame for that and it's not your fault either, you must be feeling very sad and angry" --- maybe give him some words to express his feelings and re-direct them away from you. If he says something that sounds distorted, maybe re-state his words with something more realistic and simple.</p><p></p><p>Also the bronchitis -- so often I hear of mood changes following a big illness for people of any age. Especially with sensory issues -- illness can be really unsettling. I know myself when I get sick, I have to watch myself for depression/anxiety which may accompany or follow an illness. Did your son have to take any antibiotics or steroids for the bronchitis, or inhalers? You probably know this already but they can be activating. </p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry for all your heartaches. </p><p></p><p>Jo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="barneysmom, post: 403720, member: 1872"] ((((((((myfirstandlast))))))) I have had many hateful things said to me. You must have been stunned when he called you a murderer. I think with the High-Functioning Autism (HFA) issues, he doesn't have the language skills to convey his agonizing feelings -- may not know how to identify feelings in the first place, just knows he's acutely uncomfortable. Also as JJJ said, may be feeling guilty himself. Also his age -- 15 -- all the teen years are notorious with our kids. Tumultuous feelings. He must be right on the edge 24/7, as you know, because if you don't act like everything's OK, he explodes -- but no language to convey how bad he's feeling. He doesn't wish you were dead instead of his dad. I think he's saying he wishes things were different. Calling you a murderer may be the best he's got. Maybe try something like "I'm not a murderer, your dad took his own life, I don't take the blame for that and it's not your fault either, you must be feeling very sad and angry" --- maybe give him some words to express his feelings and re-direct them away from you. If he says something that sounds distorted, maybe re-state his words with something more realistic and simple. Also the bronchitis -- so often I hear of mood changes following a big illness for people of any age. Especially with sensory issues -- illness can be really unsettling. I know myself when I get sick, I have to watch myself for depression/anxiety which may accompany or follow an illness. Did your son have to take any antibiotics or steroids for the bronchitis, or inhalers? You probably know this already but they can be activating. I'm so sorry for all your heartaches. Jo [/QUOTE]
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