Wow...the audacity of a difficult child is always impressive

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Mom2oddson, Jun 18, 2012.

  1. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    husband & I have both talked to Steph about how things needed to change.

    Yesterday, at 7:30, the law was laid out for her. She was told that her "free ride" at home was over.

    She can either pay rent or work off her rent by doing chores until she has a job and can pay rent. She now has a strict curfew. And she has used up all her excuses for the next decade.

    She takes this calmly. (it was talking to the walking rock again...waste of time) Then I got the silent treatment until 9:00. She came to me and asked if she could go to a parade on Sunday. I said "sure as long as you are back by curfew." "What time is my curfew?"....

    Well, that showed me how well she paid attention to our talk. When I told her she it was midnight on Saturday, 9pm on Sunday. Well.....that won't work for her. She needs to spend Sat & Sun night at her friends. Oh, but she'll be home every night until the weekend.

    WOW!! Really?? I am always amazed at how everything is all about them and they can't "get it" why they shouldn't have special treatment any time they want it.

    So, today, we will type up a contract of what is expected and the consequences of not doing them. It will be signed by all three of us. Of course, like husband know she is already looking for a new place to live. As soon as she finds someone gullible enough to take her in for free, she'll be gone.

    Taking all guesses on how soon Steph will be leaving. husband thinks by this weekend. I say by the end of the month. Any guesses?? Actually hoping she was packing her stuff up last night and will be gone today!

    Anyone think husband & I will be crushed or upset when she leaves? LOL
  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Your guess is as good as mine! Here's hoping it is sooner than later, for your benefit and hers.
  3. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    It should get interesting....

    husband stopped by my office on his way home so we could talk (opposite shifts are not fun)

    We decided that there needed to be consequences for failing to obey the rules or this won't work.

    Her rules are divided into 2 catagories so 2 sets of consequences:

    Catagory 1: Chores in lieu of rent. Failure to do or poor quality of doing...
    1st offense: loss of phone for 24 hrs
    2nd offense: loss of phone for 48 hrs
    3rd offense: loss of phone permanently

    Catatgory 2: Curfew: current sun-thur 9pm, fri-sat midnight. No exceptions
    1st offense: sun-thurs 8pm, fri-sat 11pm
    2nd offense: sun-thurs 7pm, fri-sat 9pm
    3rd offense: you will be asked to leave for good.

    That is going to go over like a lead balloon.

    And the thing is, she should know that we are serious! We kicked Ant out without a second thought. And she's been warned that the same will happen to her.
  4. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Eeyore has the same tune-us-out problem. I now give him a printed list of rules and consequences several times per year. When he gets upset, I just refer him back to the expectations sheet. It always has a line about parents may modify as necessary but if I do modify (usually because he has found a new and creative way to mess up) he gets a new printout.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I think I am going to do this too....i will have to make lots of copies because I can already imagine them being ripped to shreds, but he does well when you can just refer to the schedule so I think now we are ready for the rules too....
  6. I hate to be a pessimist but I don't think the contract will mean anything to her, only to you and husband. We did up a contract with our difficult child and he was very agreeable to it. He read it over, said it was reasonable, negotiated a few things and we were great until the weekend..... then he moved out.

    Maybe that'll be the same thing that happens with Steph. Either way I wish you well.
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm with welcome on this one. If she didn't pay attention to the talk, she's not going to pay attention to a written contract.

    And you're right, she's already looking for somewhere to hang her hat. Interesting thing will be.........will anyone be gullible to fall for it..........and then long will it take for her to where out her welcome.

    You're much more reasonable than me over the curfew. Mine was simple......there were no 3 Xs LOL I wasn't quite as harsh over the rent thing, but then Nichole was either in school or working.......and Travis does help me so it's not really been an issue.

    If you have a party once she's moved out.........make sure she hears about it. *snicker* (yeah, I'm evil)