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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 152885" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>I found that denying my child her best friend in 6th grade was not a good move -- she just saw her behind my back. What did work was explaining that the two of them without someone supervising created problems for both of them. So, the girl was welcome in our home and was there almost every day after school. They were not allowed to walk to school together. At lunch, they were to be kept apart (the teachers and staff helped with this). This method actually worked out well. The girl, who was pretty much unsupervised, came to our home. The girls had a snack, did their homework together, then played. If I deemed the play was becoming inappropriate, the girl was to go home and we'd see her the next day.</p><p> </p><p>By the time they started high school, my daughter began to see that this girl was not a good friend, was not a good influence and was not someone she cared to call a friend any longer.</p><p> </p><p>I do believe that had I cut the friendship (with good reason since the girls were shoplifting together after school), several things would have occurred. (1) My daughter would have just snuck to be with her. (2) The girl would have become totally irresistible and an even stronger influence on my daughter. (3) My daughter would have been terribly lonely as this was the only girl that accepted my daughter as she was (mainly because she could bully her into doing what she wanted).</p><p> </p><p>If the boy is your son's only friend, he may be depressed for quite awhile -- at least until school is out. It must be hard to see someone you like and not be able to speak to them. I'd say being depressed is a reasonable reaction. Putting a time limit may not be as reasonable although I do agree that he might need some support to get through the rest of the school year.</p><p> </p><p>I wish you luck. It really would be nice if our kids could find at least one good friend who would set good examples instead of always finding one that has worse behavior or social skills than ours. We can dream, right?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 152885, member: 3626"] I found that denying my child her best friend in 6th grade was not a good move -- she just saw her behind my back. What did work was explaining that the two of them without someone supervising created problems for both of them. So, the girl was welcome in our home and was there almost every day after school. They were not allowed to walk to school together. At lunch, they were to be kept apart (the teachers and staff helped with this). This method actually worked out well. The girl, who was pretty much unsupervised, came to our home. The girls had a snack, did their homework together, then played. If I deemed the play was becoming inappropriate, the girl was to go home and we'd see her the next day. By the time they started high school, my daughter began to see that this girl was not a good friend, was not a good influence and was not someone she cared to call a friend any longer. I do believe that had I cut the friendship (with good reason since the girls were shoplifting together after school), several things would have occurred. (1) My daughter would have just snuck to be with her. (2) The girl would have become totally irresistible and an even stronger influence on my daughter. (3) My daughter would have been terribly lonely as this was the only girl that accepted my daughter as she was (mainly because she could bully her into doing what she wanted). If the boy is your son's only friend, he may be depressed for quite awhile -- at least until school is out. It must be hard to see someone you like and not be able to speak to them. I'd say being depressed is a reasonable reaction. Putting a time limit may not be as reasonable although I do agree that he might need some support to get through the rest of the school year. I wish you luck. It really would be nice if our kids could find at least one good friend who would set good examples instead of always finding one that has worse behavior or social skills than ours. We can dream, right? [/QUOTE]
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