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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 310292" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>Funny timing for me, reading this post of yours this morning. First, kudos for the way you explained things about your mom. It's a tricky thing to balance truth with wanting to preserve a sense of a respect from the kids towards their grandmother.</p><p></p><p>I say funny timing because it is Thanksgiving here in Canada this coming weekend. My difficult child older brother has 2 of his kids with him for the holiday. He has asked (begged) me to bring S/O and the kids to his house for a big family meal. I had to say no. Not because he is a difficult child. Actually at holiday's, he is a delight and goes all out and loves to be part of things. He makes holidays wonderful for his kids, and I miss spending time with his children. They are adorable (and love their Aunty Melissa lol). BUT! He lives exactly 8 doors away from my mother. I have seen her once in two years. They both live about a 15 minute drive or 25 minute city bus ride away from me. </p><p></p><p>We said no because my mother would be there. She is bipolar but has so many personality issues, I'm positive if she was honest with a doctor she would be diagnosed further. She is also hateful. She's well medicated (well, I'd change the medications but she won't, so long as she doesn't swing wildly in her moods she thinks she is fine). I cannot be around her any longer. The rub? The kids. However difficult child is now 16 and he has seen on his own what she can be like and though he loves her, he can't bring himself to be around her either. easy child is 10 now. She could walk past my mother on the street and not know it was grandma unless I pointed it out. </p><p></p><p>I do not talk about my mothers problems in front of easy child. She has asked the past couple years why we don't see grandma since she lives so close. I have talked to her when she asks about mental illness and that we all love her but sometimes it is hard to spend time around her. She has picked up things on her own and is very perceptive. She told me last night that she hopes we don't go to her uncle's for Thanksgiving because it is a special day to her and she'd be afraid and sad all day if she was around my mother. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> </p><p></p><p>It's such a sad state for a family isn't it? I too have discussed how MANY people do live wonderful happy and fulfilling lives with mental illness. I don't want easy child terrified that anybody with a diagnosis of a mental illness is like my mother. It rots. </p><p></p><p>You's a good mama! And that's a smart cookie you are raising.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 310292, member: 4264"] Funny timing for me, reading this post of yours this morning. First, kudos for the way you explained things about your mom. It's a tricky thing to balance truth with wanting to preserve a sense of a respect from the kids towards their grandmother. I say funny timing because it is Thanksgiving here in Canada this coming weekend. My difficult child older brother has 2 of his kids with him for the holiday. He has asked (begged) me to bring S/O and the kids to his house for a big family meal. I had to say no. Not because he is a difficult child. Actually at holiday's, he is a delight and goes all out and loves to be part of things. He makes holidays wonderful for his kids, and I miss spending time with his children. They are adorable (and love their Aunty Melissa lol). BUT! He lives exactly 8 doors away from my mother. I have seen her once in two years. They both live about a 15 minute drive or 25 minute city bus ride away from me. We said no because my mother would be there. She is bipolar but has so many personality issues, I'm positive if she was honest with a doctor she would be diagnosed further. She is also hateful. She's well medicated (well, I'd change the medications but she won't, so long as she doesn't swing wildly in her moods she thinks she is fine). I cannot be around her any longer. The rub? The kids. However difficult child is now 16 and he has seen on his own what she can be like and though he loves her, he can't bring himself to be around her either. easy child is 10 now. She could walk past my mother on the street and not know it was grandma unless I pointed it out. I do not talk about my mothers problems in front of easy child. She has asked the past couple years why we don't see grandma since she lives so close. I have talked to her when she asks about mental illness and that we all love her but sometimes it is hard to spend time around her. She has picked up things on her own and is very perceptive. She told me last night that she hopes we don't go to her uncle's for Thanksgiving because it is a special day to her and she'd be afraid and sad all day if she was around my mother. :( It's such a sad state for a family isn't it? I too have discussed how MANY people do live wonderful happy and fulfilling lives with mental illness. I don't want easy child terrified that anybody with a diagnosis of a mental illness is like my mother. It rots. You's a good mama! And that's a smart cookie you are raising. [/QUOTE]
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