Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
Kayla and Alex's birthday party was supposed to be yesterday afternoon. It had been "planned" for a couple of months, this was not a last minute deal.
As I told you a week prior or so katie mails me and asks me if I'll pick up the cake on the way to the party. I told her no problem if she gave me the cash to pay for it. Worded that way because I knew it was an underhanded (obvious) attempt to get me to pay for the cake. She suddenly decided to bake it herself.
A day or so before the party I get another mail asking if anyone would mind eating off normal tableware (which I KNOW she has not even enough of for them to eat off) because she "forgot" to buy cups, paperplates and disposable silverware. I told her we wouldn't care, none of us can afford those things either. Worded that way so she knew we wouldn't buy them for her. She lives right next door to a Dollar General store for pete's sake. It's a 4 minute walk.
Next mail was Do you or easy child have candles? I forgot candles. I told her last party I used candles at Nichole turned 10. easy child had none either, she buys them right before the party and throws them away.
Another one stating she forgot to buy a camera. Again, Dollar General is right next door.
It sad enough that this is the first birthday party she has EVER given her kids. The ones Kayla and Alex had at 1 and 2 I threw for them.......and she didn't even buy them a gift at those. Everything she "forgot" were pretty much the basics for your average birthday party. geez
Then it was changed from the clubhouse to the shelter at the complex's playground. No biggie except I saw that happening as soon as she said it would be in the clubhouse.
Then yesterday it was postponed (due to sprinkles) until JULY! July?? Why didn't she just tell everyone she wasn't having the party because she blew all the money for it instead.
Not that we minded. M was going to be there. None of us are anxious to see him.
Alex is due at camp tomorrow at noon. She has yet to tell me the date to pick him up. I know what it is because husband looked it up. I'm being very gfgish myself over her telling me the d@mn date, which she has NOT. She just assumes we know. Seriously? Travis last attended at like age 15, he's now 25, that was 10 yrs ago. omg So now....unless I get a mail from her today......I'm torn between disappointing Alex and breaking my promise.......and sticking to my guns about her acting like a frigging PARENT and telling US the date. grrrr Because to be honest? sister in law has to work required overtime this week. To let us both still have our weekend off he took extra hours each day instead of working next sat. So I'll be going over there at noon instead of 3pm. Right at the time Alex is due for camp. Katie KNOWS I'm caring for easy child, yet has not even asked if plans needed to be changed. She just assumes we'll work it out.
Katie finally came clean over buying Kayla a PSI and Alex a brand new expensive bike for their bdays........."and some other things"..... I wanted to crawl through the phone and smack the snot out of her. You bought them such expensive gifts that you couldn't manage to pay your bills and throw the birthday party they've spend most their lives dreaming of (and has been promised year after year).......how utterly stupid can you be? They kids would've been thrilled with the PARTY and cheap gifts. But she has decided she's in competition with easy child and Nichole with their kids.......There is a difference, a huge one. When easy child and Nichole bought darrin and aubrey their PSI's they bought them 2nd hand off craig's list like new and paid less than half normal price. AND THEY CAN AFFORD TO BUY THEM.
I actually got a phone call from her yesterday too. Nearly fell out of my chair. Well, really it wasn't her. Kayla called me so me and papa wouldn't show up to a party that wasn't happening. I talked to her a while. She doesn't sound her usual perky happy self. (could have been due to the party thing) She told me her other grandma is trying hard to get here, how much she hates her, how she wants to come live with me if she shows up. I did not say much to that. I don't make promises I can't keep. Ever. Alex got on next to ask about camp and to tell us he loved and missed us. Evan got on.......and sounded drugged up. All he said over and over with long drawn out pauses inbetween was I love you nana. No conversation at all. It took me 30 mins of that to finally get him to hand the phone to katie, which is how I talked to her. She said he was distracted by sponge bob. Uh, maybe, I wasn't there. But he never did that here is all I can say.
Katie also said her biomom is he11 bent on coming here to ohio. She is not taking no for an answer. Katie has told her she can't live with her. She's told her that chances are extremely thin shelter will take her. (I fibbed and said katie had been in state for 6 months) She's told her husband and I will NOT pick her up in cincy at the bus station. Evidently biomom must have said something along the lines of maybe we'd let her stay here with us until the shelter would take her. .... Katie said she told her NO that would be WEIRD to say the least, which I agreed with her wholeheartedly. I've always gotten along just fine with biomom. But no. The weird factor alone is over the top. She would drive husband insane in less than a day. We can't afford it. And we'd never get HER out either. And I'll be d@mned if I'm going to get myself into a situation where I'm parenting my stepdaughter's mother! I did that for 15 yrs while katie was growing up. ugggghhhhh
And so I'm ignoring the non-stop calls from Mo. The woman doesn't just call once either. She calls non-stop for about 3 hrs and lets it ring at least 30 times each time.
Picking up the phone and just telling her no I won't do such and such, is NOT an option. Biomom will not let it go. I've known her long enough to know that part is true.
And yet this part ticks me off no end.
Biomom is herself a difficult child, not a horrible difficult child, but she does have issues due to an over controlling father and a severely (not kidding in the least) mentally ill mother. Regardless, when katie returned to Mo when the kids were babies.......she took them in. I know that at least for 7 yrs of the time katie was in Mo she supported them, first with her factory job, then with unemployment while M went through jobs like water to pretend he was "trying". I suspect though that it was the entire time they were there. The moment her unemployment finally ran out......katie and family were on the bus to Ohio, leaving a now crippled up biomom with no money, no friends, no family other than katie, in St Louis ALONE to fend for herself, in a strange city. I didn't know the extent of biomom's physical condition when katie discussed leaving her behind.......heck right before she came here was when I found out she was there with them!
Now I'm a person who is all about family taking care of each other, but you do put the needs of the immediate family first. And yes, katie had to look out for the needs of her and the kids first. But there is a wrongness with leaving her mom behind in that condition with absolutely NO ONE to help her that really really peeves me off in a huge way. This woman supported them for YEARS, put up with both katie and M's bullsh*t just to be close to katie and the kids........only to be treated like so much garbage once the money ran out. In all honesty, once katie was in our shelter she could have worked with staff to bring her mother over too. They would've have understood given the circumstances. She could get her own apartment in the HUD complex and not live with katie at all. Katie could explain to the manager of the complex and have her mom stay with her until she could get her own place for that matter. Rent would just be adjusted due to people/income.
I do feel for biomom. I understand where she is coming from in this, I really do. I just don't want svcked into the drama of it all. Thus I don't answer the phone.
IF biomom makes it to ohio? I'm going to have to go back to psychiatrist and get back on medications. The difficult child drama factor will raise by 100 percent. I will need medications to cope with it.
Post is titled Wow..........cuz this turned out waaaaaaay longer than I intended. lol
As I told you a week prior or so katie mails me and asks me if I'll pick up the cake on the way to the party. I told her no problem if she gave me the cash to pay for it. Worded that way because I knew it was an underhanded (obvious) attempt to get me to pay for the cake. She suddenly decided to bake it herself.
A day or so before the party I get another mail asking if anyone would mind eating off normal tableware (which I KNOW she has not even enough of for them to eat off) because she "forgot" to buy cups, paperplates and disposable silverware. I told her we wouldn't care, none of us can afford those things either. Worded that way so she knew we wouldn't buy them for her. She lives right next door to a Dollar General store for pete's sake. It's a 4 minute walk.
Next mail was Do you or easy child have candles? I forgot candles. I told her last party I used candles at Nichole turned 10. easy child had none either, she buys them right before the party and throws them away.
Another one stating she forgot to buy a camera. Again, Dollar General is right next door.
It sad enough that this is the first birthday party she has EVER given her kids. The ones Kayla and Alex had at 1 and 2 I threw for them.......and she didn't even buy them a gift at those. Everything she "forgot" were pretty much the basics for your average birthday party. geez
Then it was changed from the clubhouse to the shelter at the complex's playground. No biggie except I saw that happening as soon as she said it would be in the clubhouse.
Then yesterday it was postponed (due to sprinkles) until JULY! July?? Why didn't she just tell everyone she wasn't having the party because she blew all the money for it instead.
Not that we minded. M was going to be there. None of us are anxious to see him.
Alex is due at camp tomorrow at noon. She has yet to tell me the date to pick him up. I know what it is because husband looked it up. I'm being very gfgish myself over her telling me the d@mn date, which she has NOT. She just assumes we know. Seriously? Travis last attended at like age 15, he's now 25, that was 10 yrs ago. omg So now....unless I get a mail from her today......I'm torn between disappointing Alex and breaking my promise.......and sticking to my guns about her acting like a frigging PARENT and telling US the date. grrrr Because to be honest? sister in law has to work required overtime this week. To let us both still have our weekend off he took extra hours each day instead of working next sat. So I'll be going over there at noon instead of 3pm. Right at the time Alex is due for camp. Katie KNOWS I'm caring for easy child, yet has not even asked if plans needed to be changed. She just assumes we'll work it out.
Katie finally came clean over buying Kayla a PSI and Alex a brand new expensive bike for their bdays........."and some other things"..... I wanted to crawl through the phone and smack the snot out of her. You bought them such expensive gifts that you couldn't manage to pay your bills and throw the birthday party they've spend most their lives dreaming of (and has been promised year after year).......how utterly stupid can you be? They kids would've been thrilled with the PARTY and cheap gifts. But she has decided she's in competition with easy child and Nichole with their kids.......There is a difference, a huge one. When easy child and Nichole bought darrin and aubrey their PSI's they bought them 2nd hand off craig's list like new and paid less than half normal price. AND THEY CAN AFFORD TO BUY THEM.
I actually got a phone call from her yesterday too. Nearly fell out of my chair. Well, really it wasn't her. Kayla called me so me and papa wouldn't show up to a party that wasn't happening. I talked to her a while. She doesn't sound her usual perky happy self. (could have been due to the party thing) She told me her other grandma is trying hard to get here, how much she hates her, how she wants to come live with me if she shows up. I did not say much to that. I don't make promises I can't keep. Ever. Alex got on next to ask about camp and to tell us he loved and missed us. Evan got on.......and sounded drugged up. All he said over and over with long drawn out pauses inbetween was I love you nana. No conversation at all. It took me 30 mins of that to finally get him to hand the phone to katie, which is how I talked to her. She said he was distracted by sponge bob. Uh, maybe, I wasn't there. But he never did that here is all I can say.
Katie also said her biomom is he11 bent on coming here to ohio. She is not taking no for an answer. Katie has told her she can't live with her. She's told her that chances are extremely thin shelter will take her. (I fibbed and said katie had been in state for 6 months) She's told her husband and I will NOT pick her up in cincy at the bus station. Evidently biomom must have said something along the lines of maybe we'd let her stay here with us until the shelter would take her. .... Katie said she told her NO that would be WEIRD to say the least, which I agreed with her wholeheartedly. I've always gotten along just fine with biomom. But no. The weird factor alone is over the top. She would drive husband insane in less than a day. We can't afford it. And we'd never get HER out either. And I'll be d@mned if I'm going to get myself into a situation where I'm parenting my stepdaughter's mother! I did that for 15 yrs while katie was growing up. ugggghhhhh
And so I'm ignoring the non-stop calls from Mo. The woman doesn't just call once either. She calls non-stop for about 3 hrs and lets it ring at least 30 times each time.
Picking up the phone and just telling her no I won't do such and such, is NOT an option. Biomom will not let it go. I've known her long enough to know that part is true.
And yet this part ticks me off no end.
Biomom is herself a difficult child, not a horrible difficult child, but she does have issues due to an over controlling father and a severely (not kidding in the least) mentally ill mother. Regardless, when katie returned to Mo when the kids were babies.......she took them in. I know that at least for 7 yrs of the time katie was in Mo she supported them, first with her factory job, then with unemployment while M went through jobs like water to pretend he was "trying". I suspect though that it was the entire time they were there. The moment her unemployment finally ran out......katie and family were on the bus to Ohio, leaving a now crippled up biomom with no money, no friends, no family other than katie, in St Louis ALONE to fend for herself, in a strange city. I didn't know the extent of biomom's physical condition when katie discussed leaving her behind.......heck right before she came here was when I found out she was there with them!
Now I'm a person who is all about family taking care of each other, but you do put the needs of the immediate family first. And yes, katie had to look out for the needs of her and the kids first. But there is a wrongness with leaving her mom behind in that condition with absolutely NO ONE to help her that really really peeves me off in a huge way. This woman supported them for YEARS, put up with both katie and M's bullsh*t just to be close to katie and the kids........only to be treated like so much garbage once the money ran out. In all honesty, once katie was in our shelter she could have worked with staff to bring her mother over too. They would've have understood given the circumstances. She could get her own apartment in the HUD complex and not live with katie at all. Katie could explain to the manager of the complex and have her mom stay with her until she could get her own place for that matter. Rent would just be adjusted due to people/income.
I do feel for biomom. I understand where she is coming from in this, I really do. I just don't want svcked into the drama of it all. Thus I don't answer the phone.
IF biomom makes it to ohio? I'm going to have to go back to psychiatrist and get back on medications. The difficult child drama factor will raise by 100 percent. I will need medications to cope with it.
Post is titled Wow..........cuz this turned out waaaaaaay longer than I intended. lol
