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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 430302" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Two possible deeper problems - the other kid may also have been Aspie and obsessing about being right. Or the other kid might have been choosing to push her buttons.</p><p></p><p>A suggestion for you to pass on to her - when someone says something that she believes to be incorrect, instead of insisting on being right, she can look on it as an opportunity to teach. And if necessary, learn to take her friend by the hand, go to the library and use an encyclopedia, a dictionary or even a search engine online, to look it up. Learn to research and PROVE your answer, shouting it louder doesn't achieve a darn thing.</p><p></p><p>When SIL2 moved in with us (when he was just easy child 2/difficult child 2's boyfriend) he came from a background where bravado and bragging was the norm. he would make a sweeping statement, often urban myth or that ilk, and when we challenged it, he would insist. So instead of getting angry with him, we would say, "That is interesting. I wonder what more we can find out about it?" and we would ALL go and look it up. We presented it to him as "It's not unusual for people to make that mistake; the truth is similar, but a bit more complicated."</p><p></p><p>Now, some years later, he has enough confidence in himself to occasionally be wrong, but to go look it up if he's not sure. Or to ask someone - it's no shame to do so. To admit you don't know - again, no shame. </p><p></p><p>It's taken a lot of gentle support to get to this stage, but the end result is a person who instead of getting angry at a difference of opinion, now knows how to handle it with logic (an Aspie strength) and calmness. And knowing how to research! (also an Aspie strength)</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 430302, member: 1991"] Two possible deeper problems - the other kid may also have been Aspie and obsessing about being right. Or the other kid might have been choosing to push her buttons. A suggestion for you to pass on to her - when someone says something that she believes to be incorrect, instead of insisting on being right, she can look on it as an opportunity to teach. And if necessary, learn to take her friend by the hand, go to the library and use an encyclopedia, a dictionary or even a search engine online, to look it up. Learn to research and PROVE your answer, shouting it louder doesn't achieve a darn thing. When SIL2 moved in with us (when he was just easy child 2/difficult child 2's boyfriend) he came from a background where bravado and bragging was the norm. he would make a sweeping statement, often urban myth or that ilk, and when we challenged it, he would insist. So instead of getting angry with him, we would say, "That is interesting. I wonder what more we can find out about it?" and we would ALL go and look it up. We presented it to him as "It's not unusual for people to make that mistake; the truth is similar, but a bit more complicated." Now, some years later, he has enough confidence in himself to occasionally be wrong, but to go look it up if he's not sure. Or to ask someone - it's no shame to do so. To admit you don't know - again, no shame. It's taken a lot of gentle support to get to this stage, but the end result is a person who instead of getting angry at a difference of opinion, now knows how to handle it with logic (an Aspie strength) and calmness. And knowing how to research! (also an Aspie strength) Marg [/QUOTE]
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