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Substance Abuse
Yep.. relapsed
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 738446" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>TTBS, someone on the board once said that parents have to hit their bottom, too. The point where you realize what you are doing is not working and stop. Let this be that point for you.</p><p></p><p>You said that your son said he never stopped smoking weed. There is your answer. He has no desire to be sober. You gave him the opportunity by paying for rehab and he squandered it. Now, it is up to him.</p><p></p><p>He will not stop using and drinking as long as he knows you are there to rescue him. Why should he? </p><p></p><p>It takes some of us longer to reach the bottom. It took me ten years but with the help of my therapist I was finally able to walk away and put the responsibility on my daughter. When she truly realized that her life had changed and no one was going to swoop in and take care of her, she found a rehab on her own and got sober. That was over two years ago and she is doing really well.</p><p></p><p>I don't believe the money you spent was wasted. Your son was given the tools he needs for living a sober life. Now he has to decide to put them to use.</p><p></p><p>My therapist used to tell me over and over that my daughter was going to do whatever she wanted and there was nothing I could do to change that. When I finally got that into my head, things changed for me. I gave up trying to fix her and let her find a way to fix herself. I can't describe the feeling of freedom I felt letting that burden go.</p><p></p><p>I am not saying it will be easy but what you are going through right now is not easy, either. My advice for what it is worth, is not to fly out there and rescue him again.</p><p></p><p>At most, I would find a list of rehabs or sober living houses and send it to him. It isn't your job to find a place for him. It is his job.</p><p></p><p>{{{Hugs}}}</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 738446, member: 1967"] TTBS, someone on the board once said that parents have to hit their bottom, too. The point where you realize what you are doing is not working and stop. Let this be that point for you. You said that your son said he never stopped smoking weed. There is your answer. He has no desire to be sober. You gave him the opportunity by paying for rehab and he squandered it. Now, it is up to him. He will not stop using and drinking as long as he knows you are there to rescue him. Why should he? It takes some of us longer to reach the bottom. It took me ten years but with the help of my therapist I was finally able to walk away and put the responsibility on my daughter. When she truly realized that her life had changed and no one was going to swoop in and take care of her, she found a rehab on her own and got sober. That was over two years ago and she is doing really well. I don't believe the money you spent was wasted. Your son was given the tools he needs for living a sober life. Now he has to decide to put them to use. My therapist used to tell me over and over that my daughter was going to do whatever she wanted and there was nothing I could do to change that. When I finally got that into my head, things changed for me. I gave up trying to fix her and let her find a way to fix herself. I can't describe the feeling of freedom I felt letting that burden go. I am not saying it will be easy but what you are going through right now is not easy, either. My advice for what it is worth, is not to fly out there and rescue him again. At most, I would find a list of rehabs or sober living houses and send it to him. It isn't your job to find a place for him. It is his job. {{{Hugs}}} ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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Yep.. relapsed
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