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Substance Abuse
"You deserve to live in peace"
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 670706" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Oh I feel for you and understand. It does sound like the behavior of a drug addict, they steal, they lie, they manipulate and dont want you to know what they are doing if they arent doing anything good. </p><p></p><p>And I know all too well those dreaded calls from the police.... I have had many of those too..... It is all so heart breaking, gut wrenching and just exhausting.</p><p></p><p>The only thing you can really do is to find ways to take care of yourself. I have found alanon to be really helpful in this. I think a lot depends on the meeting you find, I found a meeting specifically for parents and met a wonderful group of parents who know exactly what I have been through and have been there too. It was helpful to me to meet other good parents who have been through this, it helped to know I was not alone and also it helped me to believe it wasnt all my fault, because it couldnt be the fault of all these other good people.</p><p></p><p>As to your last question on how I deal with the not knowing and worrying.... well it depends. Sometimes I deal with it better than other times. Sometimes it was just trying to keep busy and distracted. Sometimes it has meant saying the serenity prayer over and over to myself, realizing that really there was nothing I could do. And I will say that not knowing is the worst...... the worst time of my life was when my son was homeless and on the streets across the country in Denver in the middle of winter. Often the only thing that kept me sane was checking his phone records.... and when he lost his phone it was really really hard.</p><p></p><p>So I feel for you. You are not alone. My son just turned 24 so he is about the same age as your son.</p><p></p><p>Also to give you a ray of hope.... last July my son made the decision to go to detox... we helped him get there but it was totally his decision this time and he has been sober since then. Our relationship is in a much much better place than it has been in years. He actually seems serious about working the AA program.... before this he has kind of scoffed at it......so I am at the moment very hopeful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 670706, member: 15801"] Oh I feel for you and understand. It does sound like the behavior of a drug addict, they steal, they lie, they manipulate and dont want you to know what they are doing if they arent doing anything good. And I know all too well those dreaded calls from the police.... I have had many of those too..... It is all so heart breaking, gut wrenching and just exhausting. The only thing you can really do is to find ways to take care of yourself. I have found alanon to be really helpful in this. I think a lot depends on the meeting you find, I found a meeting specifically for parents and met a wonderful group of parents who know exactly what I have been through and have been there too. It was helpful to me to meet other good parents who have been through this, it helped to know I was not alone and also it helped me to believe it wasnt all my fault, because it couldnt be the fault of all these other good people. As to your last question on how I deal with the not knowing and worrying.... well it depends. Sometimes I deal with it better than other times. Sometimes it was just trying to keep busy and distracted. Sometimes it has meant saying the serenity prayer over and over to myself, realizing that really there was nothing I could do. And I will say that not knowing is the worst...... the worst time of my life was when my son was homeless and on the streets across the country in Denver in the middle of winter. Often the only thing that kept me sane was checking his phone records.... and when he lost his phone it was really really hard. So I feel for you. You are not alone. My son just turned 24 so he is about the same age as your son. Also to give you a ray of hope.... last July my son made the decision to go to detox... we helped him get there but it was totally his decision this time and he has been sober since then. Our relationship is in a much much better place than it has been in years. He actually seems serious about working the AA program.... before this he has kind of scoffed at it......so I am at the moment very hopeful. [/QUOTE]
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