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Substance Abuse
"You deserve to live in peace"
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<blockquote data-quote="SeaGenieTx" data-source="post: 671176" data-attributes="member: 18773"><p>New Leaf - thank you again - you have all helped make sense of everything and reassure me that I am doing the right thing. Everything you said is so accurate.</p><p></p><p>Letting them live at home or giving them 2nd, 3rd chances - only escalates the situation and makes it worse. TRUTH! </p><p></p><p>Then kicking them out you go thru that guilt stage, questioning whether you did the right thing, etc. Maybe it was me... etc. And my son was so manipulative to turn it around on me by saying "You're delusional, you have anger issues, you have mood swings!". Gaslighting is what someone mentioned on here. </p><p></p><p>Whenever you try to bargain with these kids it just gets uglier. Man you are right about that. Then if you let your guard down and let them come back in, they look at you as stupid and that they fooled you. Master manipulators they are while on drugs.</p><p></p><p>What you allow is what will continue. TRUER WORDS.... It will continue and just get worse. Getting them out of the house and forcing them to figure out life on their own is the only way.</p><p></p><p>I just hate that it all escalated and got really ugly and he said horrible things to me but that was what shocked me into realizing how bad he has gotten and he can't be trusted at all. When I told him he needed help and when he wanted help and rehab, I'd be there. He said "I'm fine, stop being so dramatic".</p><p></p><p>He has no idea how truly intelligent and wise his old mom is. I've been thru a lot in life and have survived major loss, endured tough jobs to survive and make sure we lived comfortably. Sacrificed 20 years to put him first above myself and anyone else and this is what I get in return, a knife in the heart. </p><p></p><p>I will NOT let him ever take advantage of me again or lie to me. Everyone says "Never turn your back on family" but you have to if they refuse to help themselves.</p><p></p><p>One day at a time and like New Leaf says... the Serenity Prayer! Gotta just take it a day at a time and pray, pray, pray. So glad I can come to this forum and write when the going gets rough. Sorry if I repeat myself... and thank you for listening and offering support. It helps me survive the dark moments. ((((HUGS))) to you New Leaf and everyone else who takes the time to write back to me on here. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/group-hug.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":group-hug:" title="group hug :group-hug:" data-shortname=":group-hug:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeaGenieTx, post: 671176, member: 18773"] New Leaf - thank you again - you have all helped make sense of everything and reassure me that I am doing the right thing. Everything you said is so accurate. Letting them live at home or giving them 2nd, 3rd chances - only escalates the situation and makes it worse. TRUTH! Then kicking them out you go thru that guilt stage, questioning whether you did the right thing, etc. Maybe it was me... etc. And my son was so manipulative to turn it around on me by saying "You're delusional, you have anger issues, you have mood swings!". Gaslighting is what someone mentioned on here. Whenever you try to bargain with these kids it just gets uglier. Man you are right about that. Then if you let your guard down and let them come back in, they look at you as stupid and that they fooled you. Master manipulators they are while on drugs. What you allow is what will continue. TRUER WORDS.... It will continue and just get worse. Getting them out of the house and forcing them to figure out life on their own is the only way. I just hate that it all escalated and got really ugly and he said horrible things to me but that was what shocked me into realizing how bad he has gotten and he can't be trusted at all. When I told him he needed help and when he wanted help and rehab, I'd be there. He said "I'm fine, stop being so dramatic". He has no idea how truly intelligent and wise his old mom is. I've been thru a lot in life and have survived major loss, endured tough jobs to survive and make sure we lived comfortably. Sacrificed 20 years to put him first above myself and anyone else and this is what I get in return, a knife in the heart. I will NOT let him ever take advantage of me again or lie to me. Everyone says "Never turn your back on family" but you have to if they refuse to help themselves. One day at a time and like New Leaf says... the Serenity Prayer! Gotta just take it a day at a time and pray, pray, pray. So glad I can come to this forum and write when the going gets rough. Sorry if I repeat myself... and thank you for listening and offering support. It helps me survive the dark moments. ((((HUGS))) to you New Leaf and everyone else who takes the time to write back to me on here. :group-hug: [/QUOTE]
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