So came back from vacation last night. Saw my son on Monday in his detox/rehab program. We met with him and his personal therapist as well as his family therapist. We had not seen our son since Christmas. He had a relapse in March when he got benzos from a doctor. He had been doing some drinking and weed. I knew it but nothing I could do about it. We were in a bad position. Benzos to him are like Kryptonite to Superman. His therapist is a tough cookie. She is a tiny little thing and a former addict. Probably late 20's, pretty and is married with a child. She quit when her parents pulled back 100%. This is what I keep hearing over and over from so many professionals and parents on the "other side" of this (where I want to be!!). Husband had some questions about what to say etc. prior to son coming into room. She said we need to tell him exactly how his substance abuse has affected us. Do not hold back. We had never done this before. Not like this. After about 30 minutes he broke down. He really broke down. This was the first time they had seen any emotion from him in the 2 weeks since he had been there. We told him everything that we had felt. How he had lied and stole from us. How much we hurt from all that has happened. We also told him we were taking his car and phone with us. My husband was really tough. I grimaced at times. Son said he was afraid to talk in front of groups. I said we are now done. We are following the professional's advice to a "t" so I guess you'll have to talk in front of groups if that is what they say you need to do. He is going to an IOP tomorrow in Margate, FL and then to sober living there. They recommend he stay in sober living a minimum of one year. We also met the people at the place he is going to tomorrow. It is new and started by a husband and wife team. The husband is a former addict also and they have two young boys and their vision was to create a place that they would feel good sending their sons to, God forbid they ever need it. We were very impressed with them and everyone we met there. We have not heard from our son since our meeting on Monday. I did talk to his therapist and she said he is actually participating now and she even got him to talk for fifteen minutes straight. She said he admitted that he MADE up his ADD and ANXIETY to get pills. He was 15 at the time. He was actually even diagnosed with this. He even fooled the doctors. This is a stomach punch to the gut. I am having a hard time processing this information. I feel like an idiot. The extent of the lies and manipulation is a hard pill to swallow. So many of the Difficult Child on here have "anxiety". I have to wonder why I have always felt this diagnosis was overused. He has situational anxiety she said from dealing with what he does when using. That makes so much sense. I asked her if him having no choice could actually force him into sobriety. She said well you're not going to wait around until he is ready. He has to do it now or he is on his own and good luck. Then you can go on and live your life. I know this sounds crazy. You can't parent an addict like other kids. I am proud of us. I think we are finally where we should be.