You know it can get worse...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by totoro, Mar 2, 2010.

  1. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    So things have not really been great for us in the ol' Totoro house hold. No pay for 2 months. We have put all of our savings back into our company just to keep afloat and to pay the couple of employees we have etc, etc...

    It is make or break time husband and I have been having some pretty heavy talks about what to do. Our house up in Idaho has not sold.
    Last thing we want to do is move back. We just can't afford to keep paying for Idaho and rent here plus all of the bills for both places.
    We have been talking about going up for the summer to take care of some things, with the girls.

    Yesterday husband went to pay rent for here, the land lord who is so nice and such a good guy started to break down basically told husband that he has to put the house back on the market he is so broke and has to drop the price by 1/3!
    He is letting us have this next month to get our stuff organized and then we can stay in it until School is out. The showings will start in April.
    We have to move in May.
    Right before husband came home with that little chestnut, I was outside planting some Strawberries for N I heard a loud cracking sound and turned to see K open handed slapping Dexter hard, very hard across the face. I just stood there. She did it 3 times before I screamed at her, "What are you doing!"
    I was shaking, I told her to go to her room.
    She was scared.
    Right then husband came home.

    I had to walk outside for a minute to just breathe...
    I went in after a few minutes to talk to her. I just don't think she gets it. We know she can't be left alone with him, but I can't even turn my back.:sad-very:

    My mind is reeling. She is falling behind in School. She is having so many social issues.
    We are talking about homeschooling them if we go back. School in Idaho is NOT an option.
    We would travel back here for Doctors... this is as far as my mind has gotten.

    The only positive is that the outdoors and the nature is so good for them. THere is so much more and so many more things for them to do then here. The Northwest is just amazing.

    I just can't think right now. I just need a day off. It has been so long.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh totoro! Oh gosh. What a mess. I just dont know what to say. So many things, so many issues, so many problems. Its simply not fair.

    You have worked so hard for these kids. It seemed like this was going to be the answer. Sigh. I dont see how you can travel that distance for doctors though. Its just too important to have the ability to get in soon if a problem arises. Would the psychiatrist where you are be able to work with a local pediatrician doctor if something was pressing? Such questions.

    Im so sorry. I dont see you having much choice though. K is so unstable and the economy is so bad. Life just hoovers right now.
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Have you considered renting out the house in Idaho? Do you know someone there that could keep an eye on it to make sure a renter wasn't destroying it?

    ((HUGS)) You're in a tough spot....the economy just can't turn around quick enough and it hoovers for so many people.
  4. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    We have tried the renter route but we can't get close to our mortgage and the wear and tear on the house ends up costing us more. We a caretaker in it right now who is a friend, he takes care of everything, it is almost 2 acres. So it is a lot of work, plus we have a ton of landscaping.
    Renters have not ever taken care of any of it... sigh
  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Totoro I can't really add anything but I'm sending you all lots of hugs.
  6. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Hugs, Toto, I'm so sorry things are hard right now. Our house in Maine has been on the market for over four years. There are so many foreclosed homes in our area that the lousy banks are making it almost impossible to sell.

    I hope you can stay in AZ because of the availability of better mental health services.
  7. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    What's sad is that for K to really get the help she desperately needs we should really be in the midwest or the eastcoast... oh, or California.
    There are a few places here or there that have good care for a bipolar kid but you have to get lucky.
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry, Toto.
  9. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Where is the best place on the east coast?
  10. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Well, we could trade houses. I can get more work in the mid west and you'd get a little closer to better care. LOL! I'm not so sure I could handle winters in Idaho though.
  11. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    KLMNO the winters in Idaho are actually pretty mild. They get the Pacific storms and Seattle weather. Once you get over into Montana then it gets COLD!
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Problem solved then- Janet and Tony move to Idaho, I move to Janet & Tony's place, and Totoro and family take my house!
    (Janet, you will take my mother with you, won't you?)
  13. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    T - I'm sorry. This is rotten and it stinks. Cause you don't have enough on your plate.... :rolleyes:

    3S - I would want to be in the Baltimore area - near Johns Hopkins.
  14. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Many gentle hugs and prayers.
  15. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I don't know what to say either....:mad:

    I guess I would reflect back and ponder why you moved to AZ.
    Has the healthcare that K has gotten since you moved changed things, enhanced things, made things better? What about the schools in AZ, what difference have they made?
    If all is positive, then I would say you have to take pause, and possibly readjust your goals. A truly golden renter is possible. You have already sacrificed so much - that sacrificing a bit more is doable if the outcome is what you want.
    However, if you your answers to the healthcare and school question were only mediocre or somewhat negative than I would not look back. I would move on. You tried, and it helped in the interim, but it is not worth sacrificing for.
    So many hugs and many positive thoughts are being sent your way.:peaceful:
  16. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    (((hugs)))) toto

    Don't you just love how they keep telling us the economy is getting soooooooo much better? Like if they say it enough it will make it come to pass. Or if they tell us that enough we won't notice it's falling to pieces. sigh

    Things are really horrible around here too. easy child has renters in her house because she refuses to sell with prices so darn low. They'd lose a boatload of money they can't afford to lose. She got lucky, she has a military family in her house and they're taking excellent care of it. Her first renters lost their jobs right after signing the lease and had to be evicted 6 months later. Not their fault. You'd see them walking all over town looking for work. They had 4 young kids and easy child tried so hard not to evict them, but she had to make house payments.

    I hope things fall into place to make it easier on you whatever you wind up needing to do.
  17. Star*

    Star* call 911

    What if you turned your place into a B&B - advertised the mess out of it as a get away place - hired someone to run it.....Stayed in AZ with the profits you made and found a new rental in AZ?
  18. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    husband's parents have offered us a loan and we are considering it. We have stepped back way back we will go up to Idaho and see how the Summer goes. We are hoping we can fix some things up have a nice summer, camping, fishing, swimming with the girls and really look at the options.
    Come back or not?
    We have a bit of time. Deep breaths and hope business starts to pick up...
    We are going to put everything in storage for now.