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Substance Abuse
You know you have a difficult child when . . .
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 715260" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry but be prepared for a long haul. It took my parents close to 25 years to realize my bro had a problem with alcohol and he started at age 12. I knew by the time he was 14, and tried to tell them then. We got lucky in that he only did rehab 1 time. He did it like he does everything - balls to the wall, sorry for the terminology, but it is the phrase that best describes him. He truly flamed out his life - 3 serious felonies in 3 days, and a major deal ct with the DA, pending rehab and no future court involvement for 5 years, and he could get his rights back. </p><p></p><p>He has claimed to be sober since one admitted slip after rehab. I have MAJOR doubts regarding this, having smelled beer/booze on him several times, but it isn't my business as I don't spend time around him much.</p><p></p><p>I would NOT force him into rehab. I would not even pay for it unless he is begging for it and willing to pay for a good part of it on his own. I know you want him back, but don't go into a lot of debt for repeated rehabs. Many former addicts I know have told me that until they were willing to go to a free program, one of the cushy programs their parents sent them to was simply a place to meet new connections for whatever they were on. It was a way to get parents to give them what they wanted while thinking they wanted to get clean but it was simply too hard, the drugs were too strong. I thought this was just a line the first time I heard it, but after the 8th or 10th former addict told me this, I started to believe it.</p><p></p><p>I know so many former addicts because I worked at a restaurant that was sort of a hippie place, and drugs were a part of it. Plus most restaurants have some drug use and I worked at a lot of them. At the hippie place, we have regular holiday gatherings and reunions of former employees. MANY of whom have been to rehab a time or four. I got the same story from everyone I spoke to when this topic came up - wait until rehab is the abusers idea and they don't want anything for it like to come back home. Wait until they are ready to go to the less cushy rehab, because then they are not looking for cushy, they are looking for clean. Then you look for the place you think is best. But make them agree to the least cushy place you can find.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 715260, member: 1233"] I am sorry but be prepared for a long haul. It took my parents close to 25 years to realize my bro had a problem with alcohol and he started at age 12. I knew by the time he was 14, and tried to tell them then. We got lucky in that he only did rehab 1 time. He did it like he does everything - balls to the wall, sorry for the terminology, but it is the phrase that best describes him. He truly flamed out his life - 3 serious felonies in 3 days, and a major deal ct with the DA, pending rehab and no future court involvement for 5 years, and he could get his rights back. He has claimed to be sober since one admitted slip after rehab. I have MAJOR doubts regarding this, having smelled beer/booze on him several times, but it isn't my business as I don't spend time around him much. I would NOT force him into rehab. I would not even pay for it unless he is begging for it and willing to pay for a good part of it on his own. I know you want him back, but don't go into a lot of debt for repeated rehabs. Many former addicts I know have told me that until they were willing to go to a free program, one of the cushy programs their parents sent them to was simply a place to meet new connections for whatever they were on. It was a way to get parents to give them what they wanted while thinking they wanted to get clean but it was simply too hard, the drugs were too strong. I thought this was just a line the first time I heard it, but after the 8th or 10th former addict told me this, I started to believe it. I know so many former addicts because I worked at a restaurant that was sort of a hippie place, and drugs were a part of it. Plus most restaurants have some drug use and I worked at a lot of them. At the hippie place, we have regular holiday gatherings and reunions of former employees. MANY of whom have been to rehab a time or four. I got the same story from everyone I spoke to when this topic came up - wait until rehab is the abusers idea and they don't want anything for it like to come back home. Wait until they are ready to go to the less cushy rehab, because then they are not looking for cushy, they are looking for clean. Then you look for the place you think is best. But make them agree to the least cushy place you can find. [/QUOTE]
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