Your thoughts - advice

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by tryingtobestrong, Mar 7, 2019.

  1. Received a text from my son... said he wants to come home to visit in a few months.
    I seriously wanted to throw up.

    Not sure how to tell him that we don't want him home. I still haven't told him the pet he loved died a few weeks ago because he has no support around him.

    I guess I have to be strong and just say "The last time you were home you were miserable and wanted to fly back within 10 hours of being home. The four days you were home were horrible. Unless you show us that you are working a program and are sober we don't want you to visit." Sounds like an excuse to go get wasted to me after I tell him...

    We had not known at that time he had went back to heavy drinking after he was off of probation late in 2017. That was why he was miserable because he was having withdrawals. We had no clue until a few weeks later when we found out he had been drinking heavily right up to coming home for those 4 days.

    Don't know when to break the news about the pet either.
  2. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think you should say:
    If he uses that to get drunk then he doesn't want to be sober and you definitely don't want him home for a visit.

  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    I would have to agree with Kathy and with YOU. Why in the world would you want him home?

    I'd put it off for as long as possible!
  4. elizabrary

    elizabrary Active Member

    I would be kindly direct and let him know a visit isn't a good idea until he's more stable. Even then you might want to think about meeting in a neutral place with separate hotel rooms to give everyone a break from each other.