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Parent Emeritus
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." ~Steve Jobs
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 467135" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Insane: no, you don't have to be the parent of an older child to feel that way, but it's a different perspective from when they were younger. When my kids were under 18, I had to live my life for them, that was my legal responsbility. Yes, I had to still learn detachment and boundaries, and to take care of myself and make time for me, but as they get older it becomes even more important that I butt out of their lives and detach in a different way. Even if that means watching them be homeless, addicted to drugs, dating dangerous men, and being neglectful of their children. The need to let go of those things and detach, is becoming more urgent the older they get, and the older I get. I don't want to be my parents, who didn't fully kick my oldest difficult child brother out until he was 40. They just kept letting him come back, over and over. They didn't do him any favors. </p><p></p><p>At my age, my kids should be independent and self-sufficient. I should be focusing on living the second half of my own life. Instead, they keep trying to draw me back in to help them live their lives. I'm torn between the two worlds constantly. That's how the quote spoke to me... and that's why I wanted to share those thoughts here vs. in General or Watercooler. Just coming from that perspective.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 467135, member: 1157"] Insane: no, you don't have to be the parent of an older child to feel that way, but it's a different perspective from when they were younger. When my kids were under 18, I had to live my life for them, that was my legal responsbility. Yes, I had to still learn detachment and boundaries, and to take care of myself and make time for me, but as they get older it becomes even more important that I butt out of their lives and detach in a different way. Even if that means watching them be homeless, addicted to drugs, dating dangerous men, and being neglectful of their children. The need to let go of those things and detach, is becoming more urgent the older they get, and the older I get. I don't want to be my parents, who didn't fully kick my oldest difficult child brother out until he was 40. They just kept letting him come back, over and over. They didn't do him any favors. At my age, my kids should be independent and self-sufficient. I should be focusing on living the second half of my own life. Instead, they keep trying to draw me back in to help them live their lives. I'm torn between the two worlds constantly. That's how the quote spoke to me... and that's why I wanted to share those thoughts here vs. in General or Watercooler. Just coming from that perspective. [/QUOTE]
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"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." ~Steve Jobs
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